TGIF

You know, it's been a long time since I've really felt that anything I've done warranted a heart-felt "TGIF". These past five weeks working full-time, toiling in the vineyards of The Man, have focused me, a lot, on the value of weekends. I have one more week (four days) left on this current engagement, and those last four days (Monday through Thursday this coming week) ought to be wild and wooly (quarter-end, and I'm supporting a sales organization) (end of quarter = deals = commissions for the sales force)...

However, since I haven't had adequate time to be the Domestic Goddess that I've become over the past couple/few years, my house looks like a homeless encampment (no disrespect to the homeless), there have been precious few cooked-from-scratch meals, and the clothes I've worn this week are piled on the bench in front of the window. Shame on me. At least I got the dishwasher loaded and ran it last night. And thank goodness for my spouse, who went to the store and bought milk and other necessities!

Various thoughts have occurred to me this week:

First, two double lattes a day are simply not a good idea for me, regardless of how tasty the coffee is. (Believe me, I pay for it at about 1:00AM when I wake up, eyes wide open, heart pounding -- I really ought not to drink more than one double, and for sure not drink ANY coffee after noon.)

Second, 30 years of practicing law come in quite handy when figuring out what to do on a given issue, and mentoring the more junior folks.

Third, it's really unattractive to whine constantly about how stressed you are (not me, but another member of the team).

Fourth, working ridiculous hours never, ever results in any well-deserved accolades from management and will only give rise to resentment on the part of your spouse and your kid(s). I've been attempting to drum that into the head of one of the younger folks on the team.

Fifth, I need more grown-up girl clothes for the office. (And why, pray tell, are women these days wearing shoes without hose?) (Don't their feet hurt/sweat/get blisters?)

And, bottom line, I really do enjoy being a lawyer and hanging out with folks in a work environment. And, if the work is at least minimally interesting, that's a bonus. OK, yes, and I get paid -- "ice cream money" comes in handy.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to get out there (it was getting pretty dicey there for a while), and to know I've still got my chops. A couple of skills are a bit rusty, and I need to work on that, but I'm still smarter than the average bear, and full of professional savvy and interpersonal skills. (Yes, and I'm humble, too.) I find that, from time to time, I have less patience with nonsense, but I've learned not to lash out (via email or otherwise), and to always be polite.

Oh, yes, and not to fire off emails when someone has really pissed me off. Some things are really important to learn, early! :-)

Other than that, I'm also savoring sitting here on my sofa, with all the doors and windows open, enjoying the glorious early Summer weather here in Northern California. And also enjoying my Cosmo. I've earned it.

May you all have a great weekend!

Thursday Night Ramblings

How did it get to be Thursday already . . . and, not only that, it's now officially Summer . . . What the heck? I'm just now sort of ready for Christmas. OK, maybe Ground Hog Day. Whatever. I don't do time well any more, I guess. It passes without me knowing.

The past few days, I've been listening to stories about the latest flood crisis in the middle of the country. This time, it's the town (city?) of Minot, North Dakota facing an innundation (due to a cosmic combination of forces). The news stories kept referring to the river that's about to flood the town. I found out today (because a news broadcaster spelled the name of the river) that it's the "Souris" River (as in the French word for "mouse")... (As in, Mouse River.) I could have sworn on a stack of Victoria's Secret catalogs that it was the "Tsuris" River (as in, the river of trouble). I thought that the name, Tsuris River, was terrifically apt and was astonished that it was in North Dakota, of all places . . . Like, wow, what a progressive place! I was a tad disappointed to find out that it was "Souris"... Ah, well... I guess it's the lingering influence of growing up in Da Bronx... (I still think it ought to be the Tsuris River, but that's a whole other issue.)

I've been at my current lawyer engagement for almost a full five weeks now. It's like I've been there for a lot longer. Perhaps I have chameleon DNA somewhere along the line -- I seem to take on the "coloration" of whatever environment I'm in -- been doing that for years! But, it's a congenial environment, the work is just interesting and challenging enough that I'm not bored beyond tolerance, and I get paid for it, too! The gig wraps up on the 30th, and I must admit (in my heart of hearts) that I'm looking forward to a little break. Having been "on the beach" for three years, I really was anxious to go back to work. But, now that I've been there, every day, for nine hours or so, I'm re-thinking my nostalgia for the workplace. Working for The Man is, at bottom, soul-sucking. I am so damn lucky that I don't HAVE to do it (i.e., work), but that I can choose to do it... I am blessed... But, it's fun enough for a couple/few months at a time...

There are several further opportunities floating around, all of them different, but all of them involving travel (OK, local within the SF Bay Area, but still). One is in San Francisco (a daily commute of about 1-1/2 hours), one in the East Bay (also a commute of about 1-1/2 hours), and the other out in the boonies (commute of 2+ hours). But, on the up side, the East Bay and the boonies engagements would not be full-time onsite, so that's a bit of a blessing. We shall see what pops up.

I'm sharing a photo (above) of today's snack extravaganza at the office. (These are "cake pops" -- lollipops made out of cake batter... I think these were lemon cake, with outrageously sweet icing -- after everyone indulged, they were then called "cake bombs"...) (The sugar crash in the late morning was a very unpleasant thing to observe...)

One of the attorneys with whom I work is a monster baker, and loves to share goodies with the team. Luckily, I can't eat any of them (I'm gluten-free), so I content myself with sniffing all the goodies. (OK, it's a bit weird, but it works.) And, one of the other attorneys also brings in fresh donuts regularly. Although I'd never want to eat them (the donuts), damn they smell totally yummy. If I were able to indulge, I'd be huge by now!!!

It was wildly hot here the past few days -- right on time for the first day of Summer. As someone said, we went right from whining (about the protracted cool, rainy weather) to Summer. Down here in the South Bay, it was close to 100 degrees for both days, which is just way too hot for me. Today, it was lovely again, and reminded me why I just love living here... Cool at night, warm during the day, bright blue sky, fluffy white clouds, ahhh... Yes, it is in fact the good life. And, yes, as a NYC expat, I have gotten soft. Too bad.

Other than that, life just goes on... Considering the alternatives, it's not so bad. I wish all of you the same.

Back in The Tribe

So, I've been talking for -- how long? -- about all that I've gone through since departing from The Company, and -- more recently -- about my search for "real" work (i.e., playing lawyer). After much back-and-forth, and chasing down leads, and nagging folks, I'm finally out there, in the "real" world, doing legal work. Yes, it's true. I'm on a six-week engagement at a local software company, sitting in a cubicle, learning new rules and methods, and not having a moment to catch my breath.

You know the old saying, be careful what you wish for... Well, at the end of last week (my first week on the engagement), I thought, for a bit, whether or not I really wanted to be back at work. I guess the answer was "Yes" and "No". . . I felt a tremendous rush of emotion when I got my badge (complete with really bad photo) and hung it around my neck . . . Like I was finally part of a tribe again. That was weird. It was pretty stressful, the first few days, but got even more stressful, once the initial relief at having a paying gig again wore off.

The work I'm doing is stuff I've done for years, so it's not that. Yes, I'm on the other side of the table (but that's not much of an issue), and I'm working on a PC (not an Apple) which is a bit odd, but not an insurmountable issue, I'm working in a cubicle (not an office) which is very odd (but I've done it before), and there's all kinds of new people to meet and learn about. Most very nice, a couple who make me wary (gut reaction), and I'm learning to watch my steps and watch my back with a few others. In other words, the usual.

I am getting to wear "big girl" clothes again, and makeup, and jewelry. Now, that's weird, since I've been hanging out in jeans and tennies (sometimes flip-flops) for the past three years. But, again, it feels fine. (I just need to get rid of some dated items, and replace with some more stylish things.)

In a way, it felt like I had never left -- like the past three years just fell away. Disconcerting, to say the least. Then, when I get home in the evening, and hang out with The Spouse, yes, it's familiar, like the past three years.

Ach, too much change, I guess. I'm glad I'm doing this six-week gig, and I'll see if I really want (or need) the money badly enough to keep doing this for any length of time...

Sometimes, I just shake my head...

I listen to the news. A lot. On the radio, on the TV, and I'm a digital person too -- cnn.com, sfgate.com, a number of international sites, etc., etc. (I also do the New York Times digitally, since I'm a subscriber to their "real" newspaper...)

What I've been hearing and seeing and reading lately just blows my mind. One would think that, after all these years, being the cynical, worldly person that I am, a woman of mature years, I would not be shocked or amazed or even worried about anything I could possibly glean from all these sources. And, truly, I wouldn't say I'm often shocked. Amazed, occasionally. Worried, frequently. But, then, being a student of history, I take comfort in the fact that it's all been seen and said and done before.

What made me just roll my eyes and shake my head this morning was the item (which has been bouncing around for a couple of days, or more) that Mr. Assad, the head of Syria (is his first name Bashar? Bashir?), has or is considering lifting the "emergency" declaration . . . which has been in effect for -- get this -- fifty (50) years. How, pray tell, can an "emergency" last for 50 years? Isn't the nature of an emergency kind of a "right now" thing? I suppose that "right now" could, on the other side of The Great Wormhole, last 50 years, but in our time plane, not so much (at least in my little head).

And, good old Prince Ali (of Saudi Arabia), big-time investor in many US companies, talking on some TV program (maybe yesterday) about how bad it is that women in his country can't do so many things. Yup, terrible, I'm so with you, guy. (So, my friend, what are you doing about it?) Crocodile tears?

And, here in the USA, I am just rolling my eyes and reaching for my Tums every time I see The Donald, talking about his potential presidential bid. Now, I've said many times that I'm outta here if such-and-such happens. The Donald in the White House just might be the tipping point (to use a "today" phrase). The idea that he is even taken semi-seriously, even by the lunatic fringe, is enough to make me go back to eating gluten-containing food. (I figure that the world is going to hell so I might as well live it up for the final few years.) Even if he weren't such a jerk, the idea of a real estate developer in any position in power is frightening. Oh, and today's item on The Donald, on some website, was that Donald says he's worth as much as he feels. OK, then, it's an interesting way to calculate one's net worth. I'm there... Oy!!!

On the up side, my kitties still are their own cute selves, my spouse is just slightly battered and bruised (after falling -- twice -- off the roof of the garage he's fixing, up at the Berkeley house), the children are (as far as I can tell) doing well, my car still runs, there's food in the kitchen, my clothes still fit (they're a little tighter than I'd like), and the black helicopters haven't shown up over my house . . . yet.

It's Good Friday, and Sunday is Easter. I wish we -- in my family -- had some sort of tradition that we could celebrate. Perhaps we'll just have to go with the lifting of the Syrian "emergency" law... You take what you can get, sometimes!

The Great Divide . . . Maybe

Did you all think I had dropped off the face of the earth? Close, but not quite... I looked at my last post, which I wrote in May 2010, where I promised that I'd write soon. OK, from an historian's point of view, this is soon... That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I've been sucked into the Facebook nation, and have devoted much of my ranting to that site. For shame. I promise (for what it's worth) to do better. Perhaps I'll just post links and rants in both places. Perhaps all this sharing and media and social networking is too much. Perhaps perhaps perhaps.

In any event, I'm pasting in, below, a "note" (FB terminology) that I wrote this morning and put on FB, because I got seriously whipped up. This is not something new for me, it's something that's been eating away at me for quite a while... But, this morning, the two stories were too close for me to ignore...

What do you think?

Edit

The Great Divide... maybe...

by Elinora Mantovani on Tuesday, April 12, 2011 at 9:09am

So, this morning, while munching on my very excellent gluten-free breakfast, we were watching the local TV news. There was yet another episode of a local story -- folks lining up at one of the local athletic stadiums (or is that stadia?), hoping to be able to get in and receive some free medical care. This wonderful group, Remote Area Medical, is organizing the event. I don't know if any of you have ever heard anything about this group, but they are worth supporting. I first heard of them a couple of years ago, I think it was on "60 Minutes". In that episode, the group was off in some "third world" country helping the natives. The next time I heard of them, they were doing the same thing, but here in the US. And, now, again, here in the US.

I just shake my head when I see folks in my own country, allegedly the best country in the world, having to rely on groups like this to afford BASIC medical care -- I mean the most basic check-ups: vision, dental, medical. What is up with us, as a people, that we have let a significant sector of our fellow citizens fall into this situation? It makes me just ill. This is not to say that Americans aren't generous -- we are, on an individual basis. But, as a society, I think, over the past few decades, we've become very self-centered, "me" centered. You know, the whole "it's my money and no one else gets any of it" kind of thinking. I'm not necessarily talking about paying or not paying taxes, or seeking to evade taxes, or the TEA Party nonsense... It's a turning inward that worries me.

Anyway, right after the bit about people waiting on the sidewalk, in the damp, cold, dark night, for a chance to get their teeth checked, their eyes checked, whatever, there was a nice little story on the 2010 pay for various CEOs (including both cash and stock compensation). The pay ranged from about $28Million to about $80+ Million a year. Pray tell me, what in the name of all that's holy could these yutzes do that warrants that kind of pay? Really... I know, I know . . . stewardship of money and the increase thereof is valued far more in our society than stewardship of our children, our resources, our fellow citizens.

This gets me thinking about what's ahead for a society that continues like this. I saw, last week, a re-broadcast of a documentary, "The Crumbling of America" (on the History Channel). Our national infrastructure is rotting, in case you haven't seen that or heard about that, and cities, counties, states and the Federal government cannot afford to fix it. "No new taxes", you know. We cannot afford -- or do not choose to afford -- to ensure that our children have enough to eat, that our schools have enough money to teach our children, that our teachers are paid decently (at least enough to cover all those school supplies and boxes of tissues that they end up paying for out of their own pockets), blah blah blah . . . You've heard all this before.

I studied history growing up, and have continued to study it. This situation does not bode well for our country. At some point, the system falls apart. (Well, some of us think it already has, or is starting to.) (Just look at the state government nonsense that's gone on in several states lately, to say nothing of the stand-off and insanity in D.C.) (Re: Senator Kyl -- of Arizona, I think -- making a patently, fully, totally untrue statement about Planned Parenthood on the floor of the Senate, in connection with funding cuts; his office said, later, that the senator's statement wasn't meant to be a factual statement . . . back in the day, we'd call that a willful and intentional lie.) (Nice guy.)

Anyway, yes, history can teach us lots of lessons. This will not end well. We will ALL have a part in pulling the house down on our heads, if we don't ALL start ensuring that the house will stand the coming storms. But, maybe it will take an economic, social and spiritual tsunami, and resulting death and destruction, to wake us from our selfish, self-centered, morally bankrupt system. Stop thinking day to day, quarter to quarter, and measuring every damn thing in dollars, for goodness' sakes! (I remember, years ago, hearing the news report on some disaster or other, maybe a tornado or a fire, and the only way the newscaster could characterize the damage was "the damage is estimated to be in the millions"... What about the people who died, the families who lost everything? I remember thinking at the time that this way of looking at events really sucked, and it offended me horribly.)

Friends, I urge each of you to think about how you live your lives, what you do to address these inequities, and what you want for your country's future. The answers will be totally yours. I think about this every day, and I am sad to say that, to date, I have not lived up to my own expectations . . . I could do more, should do more, and maybe I can begin by speaking out.

What do you think?

What the heck???

Hey, what happened to me? I did not realize it's been so long since I posted. OK, I'll fess up... it's been Facebook's fault. Really. I totally blame Facebook. Not me, nope, not I. But, I just got back from a brief trip to Las Vegas, and I have lots of material for a post. Which I shall do shortly. I swear.

Gratitude

So, I was overwhelmed today, with an intense feeling of well-being and, I guess, gratitude. It hits me, every once in a while, just how lucky/blessed/fortunate I am. This year, I am looking back at where I was, physically and emotionally, last year, and it's so much better right now. Really.

Last year, my marriage was in a death spiral. I was separated from my spouse, who was behaving in a way that defied explanation and reason. My heart was broken, but my spirit was resolute. I was moving forward, not in a way that I had anticipated, but with wonderful support and enthusiasm from folks who love me. Without that, I don't know what I would have done.

I had taken a solitary road trip out to New Mexico, to spend some time alone, thinking about what had gone so terribly wrong in my relationship with my spouse. No great answers, but I really so did not like being alone, cold, and eating Thanksgiving dinner in a hotel dining room. (The dinner was actually quite good, and the staff were wonderful, but it was so awful...)

My children were stellar. I am so proud of both of them, for talking truth to me (and to their father), for supporting me in my search for wisdom and understanding, and for just being themselves. I cannot take much credit, I fear . . . they are the way the Ultimate Being decided they ought to be, and it's pretty darn good.

My daughter accompanied me to Paris, to spend Christmas there. Yeah, I know, tough duty. But, it was pretty sad. I mean, Paris is always great, and Christmas is usually pretty great, so you put the two together and how bad can it be, really? I could not have made it through last year without my daughter's support and company. And, I think she enjoyed seeing a bit of Paris! (How was that Angelina's hot chocolate, eh?)

I am thankful that, this year, the entire family -- me, my husband, and the children -- will be together for Christmas. Our daughter will be hosting us, at her place . . . Wow! When did she grow up? But, I'm looking forward to it.

My husband decided, after tearing our family apart, and forcing us all -- including himself -- to look deep inside, that he wanted to stay married to me. We decided that we really did not like being apart and, notwithstanding some significant temptations to his fidelity, and his fantasies, he chose to stay here. I'll admit that there are times when I wish all the bad stuff had not happened, and perhaps I think of what my life would be like now, had he not returned. (Well, I did buy a new bed, and I love it...) There were some other men who were . . . interested, and it might have been quite an experience to play that out. But, nah...

Last year, I was still pretty damn devastated about losing my job. I'm still -- occasionally -- bitter about it, but I'm listening to my buddies who talk, a lot, about moving on. Working at The Company was seductive and I think about it, a lot. Losing the job really forced me to deal with who I am, and what is my identity. I think I'm working it out. Slowly. I've discovered a great well of creativity, and I'm working out my urges by knitting, sewing, cooking, futzing and putzing, and working on my house.

This year, I'm OK. It is what it is. I miss my colleagues, I miss the challenges I faced, but I think there are other companies and other situations where I can use my considerable abilities.

Physically, I'm a bit heavier than I was last year, but last year I looked pretty bad. Thin, but bad. I think I look great for my age, I'm in technically great health (cholesterol, blood pressure, weight, all that good stuff), and I'm active. The spouse and I try and go out and hit the tennis ball every day (thank you, community sports center and the rental ball machine), and we try to walk around the neighborhood daily (although we've been sorely remiss on that part of it). I used to be so very fearful of just ossifying once I hit "retirement". Like my parents. But, nope -- we're traveling, we're in the middle of a dozen projects, we're involved with our hobbies and interests, and I don't think we're slipping into senility quite yet.

We're buying a new house (our retirement house?), which will be yet another challenging project. We've bought a 1970 Airstream trailer (no, I don't know why but it seemed like a good idea at the time). I learned to play decent tennis, and did a scuba diving session (yes, I really did sit on the bottom of the ocean). We've adopted two new kittens, who are keeping us young. (Yes, they really are.) We argue about things, but nothing major. When we're mad at each other, we don't go off and brood for weeks/months/years... It's painful, but we talk. Since I'm usually right, this is fine...

And, bottom line, we are so blessed. I send thanks out into the universe to the Ultimate Being (or whatever) ever moment. Truly. I have friends, and family, and my health, and food in the cupboard, and money in the bank. And piles of unread trash novels and magazines. Projects lined up, great weather where we live, and a car that works. I mean, truly. . . Do I need anything else? Nope, not really.

May you all find things in your life to be grateful for.

A Crotchety Moment...

Well, it's more accurately a crotchety day. Began by getting teary-eyed and frustrated at tennis class this morning. My hand/eye coordination is lacking, severely... Got so damn mad, I hurled my tennis raquet across the court! (Truth be told, it felt kinda good...) (A John McEnroe moment for me...) It didn't help that The Spouse started with his "hints" the minute we started our warm-up drills. If I were the tennis coach, I'd tell my beloved to shut up. Jeez, makes me so mad.

Then, lunch with a good buddy -- that made me feel very very good. Damn, but good friends are a godsend, aren't they?

Then, unfortunately, I cruised the Web and looked at a little TV, and got all whipped up, again, about the idiocy of our elected "leaders". It boggles my mind that, for some reason, there was even a question at all about bringing the health care reform legislation to the floor of the Senate for a debate! Isn't that what we sent those idiots there to do? And the posturing that's going on about consenting to the debate, like it's some big-butt deal... The pontificating just drives me WILD!

Lou Dobbs was on the "Daily Show" tonight. That guy is a jaboonie of the first order. Another talking head, proclaiming in a loud authoritative voice about what "the American people" want or don't want. LD is apparently 100% sure that "the American people" don't like "the Obama health bill"... John Stewart kindly pointed out that there isn't such a thing. Duh. The touch that appealed to me the most was the mariachi trio (?) in the background as Lou Dobbs walked on stage. (We're all aware of Mr. Dobbs' views on illegal immigration, yes?) Loved it, just loved it.

And what is with the endless hashing and re-hashing of the same three stories on every damn local news channel? Makes me nuts.

I also had just had it with the protests at UC regarding the tuition hike. Yes, hiking the fees just sucks, and it's awful, and there is a whole lot of "fat" in the system. All agreed. (And, did I mention recently the outrageous package they're paying the lady who heads up UC Davis? Go look it up and see what you think...) In fact, I went on a rant on FaceBook about it. Felt good to vent. It's really embarrassing, you know? That these "kids" (and I use the term loosely) acted out like this. GO TO SACRAMENTO, FOR GOODNESS' SAKES!!! Yes, the UC Regents need a smack upside the head, but this isn't the way to do it.

And, finally, the SEIU's endless protests. We're all hurting, and there's serious inequities in the way wealth is distributed, and it's right before the holidays and people are out of work, and it's all bad... But it's NOT "the government" -- kids, WE are the government, and if we don't get that through our collective thick skull, things are going to get very very VERY bad.

OK, I'm done for the moment. Just had to vent. (I am becoming an old pain in the butt, I realize that...)

Today's Political/Health Swirl

NOTE: For some reason, the link below doesn't seem to be working. Go to www.sfgate.com, and go to Dr. Gurley's blog. The link is for the item she wrote on 11/19/2009 (I believe), about the issue.

About the current hoo-hah over that advisory panel's recommendations on breast cancer screenings. One of the headlines in todays online press avers that the panel is taken aback by all the swirling & heated "discussions". So, on which asteroid did they find these people? A couple of days ago, on NPR, I heard two doct...ors: one was from (I think) the Am Cancer Society and the other was on the task force; you can tell that the latter had NO F'ING CLUE that there would be an issue. Not confidence-inspiring. Anyway, I'm pasting a link to a good analysis on the issue. Read it. Talk about this with your family and friends, AND YOUR DOCTOR. And it wouldn't hurt to natter at your Congressional representatives and senators, too (Federal level). The whole health care system in this country needs an overhaul, for a plethora of reasons. YOU are the government: get involved and let those yahoos in D.C. know what you think. Just sayin' . . .

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/gurley/detail?blogid=114&entry_id=51917

Politics... feh! (Yeah, and I'm talking to you, Carly F!!!)

I am getting pretty darn irritated with politics. Nothing new, of course, as I've felt this way for several years. But, lately, I find myself with a pounding head after watching TV, reading the newspaper, reading "Newsweek", or cruising the Web...

What's whipping me up? Let me count the ways...

The scary partisanship I see growing in this country. If you pay attention to what's happened/is happening in other countries (huge hoo-hahs over really trivial or superficial) (OK, trivial and superficial to me), one would think that it would be in all our best interests -- the entire country, is what I'm referring to -- NOT to descend into this bilateral division. Republic vs. Democrat -- to me, it's like Sunni v. Shia (don't jump all over me, please), or Catholic v. Protestant (thank you Northern Ireland), Tutsi v. Hutu, Sureno v. Norteno, whatever v. whatever... We have far more in common than we have different. Grrr...

The blatant twisting of the facts to fit your "side", usually delivered with a firm jaw, really good hair, false sincerity around the eyes, and a tad of OUTRAGE just for spice. Ridiculous. My profession and my training may help me to see things a tad more even-handedly, even as I can advocate for a particular side. The evil twin of this issue is "forgetting" certain past occurrences which perhaps had an impact or effect on a current situation... Like, the fact that the greatly beloved (and seriously idiotic) (IMHO) Ronald Regan's "birth" of massive deficits, which continue to plague us to this day.

The way certain fringe elements (yeah, OK, I am referring to the TEA Party nutcases) wrap themselves in the flag -- literally as well as figuratively -- and use words like "freedom" and "liberty", in an effort, perhaps, to infer that the "other side" is just not patriotic. This just whips me up beyond all belief.

The failure to make the connection between our rights as citizens and our obligations as citizens. And, the failure to recognize that the world has changed since our country was founded... It's a whole lot more complicated, many many MANY more people, and you just can't sit out in the forest with your gun and believe you can handle everything life might throw at you. And, add to that the fact (yes, sorry, it is a fact) that our world is far more integrated ("smaller", some might say) and globalization (I hate that word) is here and is influencing how we live. (This is normally where I start foaming at the mouth about the "No New Taxes!" crew... Who, exactly, do they think is going to pop out of the shrubbery and take care of the roads, the defense of our country, interstate commerce, many business, etc., etc.? The Infrastructure Bunny? Jeez...)

[Let me segue here to the castle/peasants/Vikings thing I have talked about for years... That is, when dealing with our friends in Europe, and to some extent in other parts of the world, we need to realize that they have a long and honorable heritage of depending on the central government (the local lord's castle, perhaps?) for succor and help in times of peril (e.g., the Vikings)... We never had that in the good old US of A... We just washed up on these shores, and promptly killed whoever was here first, and then turned around and headed for the horizon, where there was plenty of room to act out and pretend that we didn't need any darn government (i.e., king or whatever)...] [Of course, many of these nutcases out there don't seem to grasp that WE are the government in this country... Didn't they pay attention in social studies class?]

And, now, we have, here in California, two women -- Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman -- running for public office. As a genuine 1970s feminist, I would love to be able to support them. But these two really should go find a couple of start-up companies in Silicon Valley to ruin . . . er, to run . . . and stay the hell out of politics. I mean, neither of them even voted on any kind of consistent basis... (Yes, I know, many people don't vote regularly, or at all -- don't EVEN get me started on THAT one...) Carly just said yes she apologized, but after all for years she didn't think her vote counted. Well, I can tell you for sure that a vote not cast does not count. Duh. And this woman rose through the ranks to become a CEO? Jeez... Of course, I've spent enough time in corporate America to know that competence and common sense (and any kind of integrity) are certainly not needed to rise through the ranks, if you get my drift.

And, Carly, you certainly do know about creating jobs . . . in Asia, where all the jobs went when you hacked away at HP here in the US! Your supremely disingenuous statement that it was necessary to cut expenses in hard times makes me gag. Your policies savaged the R&D and engineering ranks here in the Silicon Valley, because you knew you could take advantage of cheaper salaries in the developing Asian markets. Yes, you could, and you saved money, but at what cost? It was recognized corporate strategy, but was it right? Was there no other way? And, of course, all the time you were drawing down some ridiculously inflated salary. And your M&A activity? What was that about? Did you really honestly think it was necessary to create a sustainable business? Really? Or were you just playing the "measuring" game (and you know what I'm talking about).

And, finally, Carly, you sure do know something about taking care of people -- yep, that $21,000,000 walk-away package you got really showed how you took care of yourself. After firing/laying off/getting rid of/restructuring thousands of folks here, it takes one heck of a lot of chutzpah -- and no discernable morality that I can see -- to insist on, and accept, that package. I personally am having a hard time looking at you on TV and feeling anything except disgust.

And don't even play the breast cancer card. Just don't. You are too smart for that.

In fact, I think you'd be really really good at charity fund-raising. It's needed and it will serve society. Oh, and I really think it would be even better if you started educating yourself on current issues and -- yeah -- voting. In every damn election. It's free to vote, you know. And you can do it by mail, in case you don't want to mingle with the peasants. . . er, the unemployed . . . you know, us folks who got reorg'd out or whatever, and didn't get any damn $21Million bye-bye present. Just, please, don't blow smoke up our butt about how "macha" you are and how you're going to "make government smaller" (you do realize, don't you, that you cannot outsource government to Malaysia, like you did for many functions at HP, yes?), blah blah blah... You may be a government "outsider", but many of us have heard it all before. Sounded hollow then, sounds worse now.

Just sayin'

Cognitive Dissonance

Episode One: In the airport shuttle, going back to the South Bay after two weeks in England... What's with this warm weather and the bright sun? And why are we on the wrong side of the road? And why are all the cars so BIG?

Episode Two: In front of the market this afternoon. There are Halloween pumpkins and a huge display of pineapples. Somehow doesn't seem right to me.

Conclusion: Jet lag does funny things to my mind!

Saturday Night...

... and all is well (I think). Good dinner (thank goodness for pre-cooked, microwaveable pot roast), first Cal football game is on TV, the kittens are "helping" me with my latest sewing project (the first in months and months and months) (maybe the depression is lifting), it's not beastly hot, and I'm just kind of floating.

I did have milk and cookies (yes, really) at 5PM with The Spouse (our ritual), but pretty immediately followed up with a very lovely Cosmo. I figure the milk and the graham crackers coated my stomach. And a nice glass of Pinot Grigio with dinner. Yum. Maybe I'll get some energy and m-wave some dessert for the old man... What the heck...

Got a fair amount accomplished today, thanks be. Washed the bed linens (where the kittens have been nesting -- ergo my itchy eyes), went to the bank, the post office, the market, the hardware store, and the fabric store. Shredded stupid old papers that just made me sad (filled up a lawn and leaf trash bag with THAT crap), and that's a weight off my soul.

I am having good luck with the exercises my dentist gave me for my rather painful TMJ issues. Now, when I do it, pressing gently on my jaw, it tends to click back into its proper position. Amazing how that eases the pain! But, I have a feeling it'll be a long haul. The dentist said it's all probably due to "rolling tension"... ??? (As in, "If it's not one thing, it's another"???) Oh, well... If this doesn't work, there is Plan B... More exercises and maybe some Valium at night, to reduce the spasm in the muscle that's causing everything to move out of its proper position.

Well, I feel that I should be opining on the great issues of the day, but I'm too tired to get into it. There are some pretty good back-and-forth discussions on Facebook, though, which are fascinating. A good diversity of opinion, and a bunch of stuff I don't necessarily agree with. But, so far, pretty civil... Amazing!

And, speaking of civil (or not), what about that guy who got his finger (well, the tip of his finger) bitten off at a health care demonstration? What in the world was THAT all about??? Sounds like a nursery school run amok! Jeez...

Well, Boston (the black kitten) is now laying down square in the middle of my cutting board, and attempting to loll on the cut-out pieces for the shoe bags. Silky, slithery satin -- I can't blame her!

OK, it's probably a good time to take a break and go do some knitting and make the dessert. Bad idea to cut and/or sew when one is tired, and after one has consumed both a Cosmo and a glass of wine. :-)

Hope all of you are having a restful and thoughtful (and safe) Labor Day weekend. Remember, without the organized labor movement, and a confluence of other factors, this holiday (and, by the way, the two-day weekend itself) would not exist. (If it didn't, how would we know when to stop wearing white shoes?)

Cheers!

As Dorothy Said...

It's true, there is no place like home (for better or worse). The Spouse and I just got back from a week in Eugene, Oregon -- we were there to work on a rental property we own. It needed some things done (not huge, but lots of little stuff), and I have not been pleased with the quality or the pricing for work performed by the property management company. When I was quoted $1,300 for installing a ceiling ventilation fan in the master bathroom, I rebelled. One thing led to another and, before you know it, we (The Spouse and I) decided that we could do all the work needed, and it would be done right. (The bathroom ceiling in the house looked like some bizarre cave with mineral deposits hanging down from it... don't ask...)

So, we packed the SUV to the brim with every bit of stuff we figured we'd need, had three ladders strapped to the top, and off we went. We even shlepped a TV with us (!), for entertainment. Yes, including a digital converter box and rabbit ears (antenna). It's a lovely drive up Highway 5 through Northern California and Southern Oregon, and the weather was fine, thank goodness. We left in the afternoon, stayed overnight in Yreka, and rolled into Eugene in time to get a fair amount of work done on Day One.

Long story short, we worked our collective butts off! Our lovely daughter drove down from Portland, to help out. She's such a treasure! We scraped, patched, sanded, primed and painted all over the darn place. The Spouse worked on swapping out all the electrical outlets (which were quite ancient), poked about in the dark, dank, and junk-filled basement (a delightful experience), and worked himself up into a swivet about all the things that really do need to be done to the house. It's an older house, built (I think) in the 1940s or late 1930s, and needs a fair amount of TLC to bring it up to date. But it has good lines, and a solid design, and a lovely "feel" about it. Some strange things have been done to it over the years, but nothing that couldn't be fixed with a moderate investment of time and money.

We enjoy Eugene, and are toying with the idea of moving there... It would kill us to leave the SF Bay Area, but Eugene is not a bad alternate. It's close to Portland (which is a GREAT city), an hour from the ocean, a few hours from the snow/mountains, a college town, not too big (and not too small), and cheaper than where we live now in the Silicon Valley. We would miss all the friends we've made here, terribly, but the folks in Eugene are quite friendly, too.

The worst thing about being away for a week was that we missed The Kittens terribly! My former secretary was kind enough to come by and look after things, so my mind was at ease. But, when we got home, The Kittens went berserk! In fact, they jumped around on top of us all night! (The next night, we did kick them out of the bedroom...)

I've made it through all the dirty laundry we dragged back with us, sorted out the stuff we hauled up and back, cleaned the kitchen, went grocery shopping, and things are generally settled down again.

The thing that made a big impression on me was living a week with: no cable/satellite TV (just good old broadcast), no microwave (aaaccck!), and no Internet access. What spoiled babies we are... Luckily, I grew up in the "old days", so I know how to boil water for tea, and how to occupy my hands at night, when it was too dark to work on the various chores. (It really did feel a tad like "Little House on the Prairie"...) But, we survived. Duh, of course we did!

So, that's the most exciting thing we've done recently. I am grateful to be home, safe, in a great area. I am thankful that we are not close to any of the horrible fires that are ravaging California right now, and that my cats are healthy and didn't commit any irremediable offenses while we were gone...

I wish all the best to all of you, too. Cheers!

Why is tennis like long division?

I don't know, why... Because it's learning a new and seemingly difficult and impenetrable skill for me, and I'm reacting just like I did in fifth grade... badly! I'm sulking, occasionally get teary-eyed, and sometimes stomp off the court and sit down in a foul humor. However, thus far I have not cheated (as I did on one test in fifth grade and famously got totally busted by the teacher).

Of course, now, long division is as easy as breathing for me. You just take it step by step, remember the basics (i.e., basic math), and it all turns out beautifully. I do it by hand often (i.e., no calculator), and it's just fine -- sometimes I do it in my head. I forget, of course, all the pain and suffering and bitching and moaning it took to get me here...

When I am on the court, practicing on my basic shots (forehand and backhand), I go through my checklist (in my head): where is my arm, what is my body posture, what is the orientation of the racquet, where in the trajectory of the ball ought I hit it, etc., etc. And, still, I often end up hitting the ball with the rim of the racquet, or otherwise just screwing it up. Blast! But, there are a lot more good shots coming out of me these days than in prior months. So, I guess that's progress. But I am still way too hard on myself... Really, I must stop that.

I love this blog. It's like a diary, but I feel some sort of odd obligation to write things for this -- with a diary, I say, "Oh, I'll do it later"... Not that anyone reads this, but I fancy that occasionally someone does. I hope it's good friends, who will (generously) listen to me blather on about things.

OK, I'm off to attempt to get some chores done. Ha! (Something is going on with me -- I'm totally exhausted all the time, and get tired way too easily. The doctor -- who ran every test in the world on me -- says there's nothing wrong. Humpf. What do they know...)

Everyone out there, be good to yourselves!

Nothing, Zip, Nada...

... And, sometimes, that's the way it needs to be! Just kicking back all day, futzing around, doing chores, and basically bouncing along. OK, I did get totally whipped up today due to (1) reading the Sunday papers, (2) cruising the 'Net and reading the news, (3) listening to the Sunday news shows, and (4) listening to NPR stories. The country is so f'd up, on so many issues, I can't stand it. Now, don't get me wrong, I adore the Prez, and so glad he's in office, you have no idea. But, how can he possibly deal with the MESS that the bozo brigade (W and his cronies, in case you've been living in a cave) left oozing on the floor.

Ah, don't get me started. The Spouse and I went out for pizza tonight -- could have knocked me over with a feather when HE suggested it. I ate myself into a stupor, of course, and am not regretting it. I shall have to be moderate in my eating this whole week to pay for my indulgences today. Well, too bad... It was worth it...

Other than that, the kittens are being as cute as ever, I'm starting to nod off, and The Spouse is -- again -- looking at who knows what on EBay... I only hope it doesn't cost us money.

I'm sure I'll be far more witty tomorrow. Or not.

One Year Later... Holy Patoley!!!

It occurred to me yesterday that it was (yesterday) one year since my last day at The Company. Wow, this year has FLOWN by! Both The Spouse and I agreed it's gone by very very quickly. This morning, I'm sitting here, cruising the 'Net, sipping my tea, getting ready to go hit the tennis ball, laughing at the kittens' antics, and thinking . . . hey, it's OK. I'm still pissed (a bit), but it's OK.

More on this theme later. Maybe.

Have a great day!

Random Thursday Musings

Sorry, this is going to be a long post. I am "in the zone" today, feeling good, and just want to share/ramble...

Apparently, I have a "thing" about jellyfish... They just fascinate me! There was a story on NPR this morning to the effect that it is now believed that jellyfish churn up the water when they rise from the depths to feed at night; that is, they bring cold water up with them, and bring warm water with lots of carbon dioxide (?) back down with them when they descend. What is being discussed in certain circles is whether this phenomenon has any impact on global warming and/or whether it ought to be factored into computer models of climate change issues. Anyway, the photo in this post was on the NPR website this morning. I really really REALLY like images of jellyfish. (There's a whole load of those images on my flickr.com account -- taken when I visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and they had the jellyfish exhibit going on.) I think they are mysterious, lovely, enigmatic, graceful, and all things lovely. I just never want to get stung by one!

The Mayan calendar, December 21, 2012 and the end of the world, or whatever. Have you heard about this one? Apparently folks who study this sort of thing (i.e., the Mayan calendar) say that the last day of the calendar is 12/21/12 (lots of 1's and 2's) (hmmm). It's unclear whether this means the world will end on that day, or what the heck will happen. I blame NPR, again, for bringing this up. Those who know say this date (12/21/12) coincides with a projected sun spot/sun flare big to-do. That solar activity could (note: "could") cause extreme upsets in the Earth's communication systems, resulting in all heck breaking loose. Others who worry about this sort of thing say, nope, this is the end of it all. However, the better theory is that extreme hoo-hah will happen (no Apocalypse), resulting in (best case) a spiritual re-birth for humanity. At one point in the story, there was a reference to that date being the end of the Age of Pisces and the beginning of . . . the Age of Aquarius! New spirituality, etc., etc. There are folks who are already forming groups with the aim of being ready, spiritually, when the AofA starts. I will put the date in my iPhone calendar, with adequate pre-reminders. We shall see. (Ought I start stockpiling anything now? Canned goods? Knitting supplies? Batteries?)

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I'm in touch with my best friend from elementary and junior high school. We sort of lost touch in high school (she went to a different all-city school than I did), and didn't see each other again for years and years; we ran into each other when I was living in Berkeley, going to law school. She was there, with her husband and baby (who just got married) (now, not back then); I think her husband was doing something with the Lab or the University or something. Anyway, we saw each other then, and somehow once again drifted apart. Long story short, we're now in touch semi-regularly (not as often as she or I would like). She lives in Texas (!), and I have no idea when we'll actually lay eyes on each other again. As noted, her elder daughter got married about a month ago; she was kind enough to forward lots of photos, I wrote a nice note, and said (among other things) that we are lucky to have fallen back into a very easy communication, just like we were back in fifth grade, whining about our very nasty teacher. Well, last night, SKM (that's her) (my friend, not the teacher) wrote me an email, reminding me that, back in fifth grade, we really really disliked the teacher, and we made a voodoo doll of her, complete with pretty heavy spell. (We were very creative little kids.) Lo and behold, the teacher had a heart attack and was out for most of the year. My friend apparently felt very guilty about that; me, not so much (or at least I don't recall feeling very guilty). I had totally forgotten about the voodoo doll episode. Good lord... My friend is a teacher now, and I'm sure that, regardless of what she thinks, she ought not be worried that her students would do a voodoo doll of HER!!!

SKM also has stayed in touch, or gotten back in touch, with another one of our buddies from way back when. CH lives in Brooklyn now, and we finally hooked up via email. I am so lucky to be able to contact old friends. Really. I'm in pretty much daily email contact with my BFF from high school. She's one of those people who knows me so well, sometimes better than I know myself. I adore her to bits, and wish we lived closer. (She's in Massachusetts, I'm in California...) And, by the way, thank goodness for Facebook. Really. I'm now in touch with folks from high school, folks from my past lives, and all kinds of new friends. It's great. I love it. I am so very lucky... We can "chat" with each other without the need to be in the same time zone, or even on line at the same time. I adore seeing everyone's comments and postings. Makes me feel like we live on the same block, just like in the old days!

The flu... So, the H1N1 virus is still lurking out there. In today's SFGate, there was an article/blog posting by their on-staff medical person, talking about the coming flu season. Her analysis of the H1N1 virus scared the bejeezus out of me, I can tell you. This bug (if she's right) is a nasty little thing, and different enough from the "regular" flu virus that it's going to give people fits if and when it starts spreading during the upcoming flu season. However, since I'm on the older side of the time line, I apparently am in a better place, risk-wise, than a younger person. That is, really, so unfair. I was all ready to go and get my will re-done quickly, but perhaps I better be nagging my daughter about taking care of herself! I urge all of you to go find out about this little phenomenon, and take precautions. WASH YOUR HANDS! It drives me nuts when I see people not washing enough. My spouse is guilty of this. He'll wash when he's been futzing around with mucky stuff on his cars, but not nearly enough during indoor activities. But that's a lost cause (i.e., me nagging him)...

Music in the kitchen is a great thing. For years, I've been brooding because I don't have a stereo hook-up in the kitchen. I have an iPod (of course) (doesn't EVERYONE???), and there's all kinds of wonderful radios and other electronic thingies that are designed to dock an iPod in, so you can listen to your music. However, for reasons that are unclear to me, I never got my act in gear and bought one. (No, I don't know why.) A couple of years ago, I did buy my husband a clock radio/alarm/iPod dock thing, but it never worked very well for him, and he ended up not using it. I thought we had thrown it away, but recently found it in The Great Heap. I put it in my (lovely new) kitchen, charged up the iPod, and it works just fine! Earlier today, I was dancing around the kitchen, my music blaring away, and it was lovely! The spouse, of course, does not appreciate my fine taste in popular music (!), so I have to turn it off when he's around -- he turns on the TV and that's that. (Our family room and the kitchen are really one big space, and I enjoy spending time with him, and he enjoys watching TV, so there you go...) Anyway, I'm thrilled to have both my music (on my iPod) and a working radio in the kitchen. I am an NPR addict -- I'll fess up to that -- and sometimes watching endless loops of cooking shows and tart-up-my-house shows on TV gets a tad old.

I am so proud of some of the Republican senators... Particularly Lamar Alexander and Lindsey Graham, for their statements in support of confirming Judge Sotomayor for the US Supreme Court. Both those senators disagree with Judge Sotomayor's positions on certain issues (at least their perceived views of her positions), but say she's qualified in terms of education, ability, experience, whatever, and that's that. Yes... Finally, some grown-ups in Congress. Amazing.

And, speaking of grown-ups, I love the idea of the "beer summit" that the Prez is holding with that feisty Harvard professor who got arrested a couple of weeks ago, and the cop who arrested him. (You all have heard about that story, yes?) (If not, please just shut down your computer and go watch "American Idol" -- there's nothing I can do for you.) Anyway, yes, who knows what really happened and who was acting like an idiot. Probably both of them. And, getting together to drink a beer is just such a guy thing. (But do we really think Obama drinks Bud Lite? Really? I'm thinking he's totally a Stella Artois guy...) Anyway, yes, as someone from the Anti-Defamation League (I think) said, we all need to talk to each other. A lot. We all have prejudices and expectations and influences that affect how we interact with each other. I have been thinking about this a lot, particularly during the Sotomayor confirmation hearing kabuki set piece. OF COURSE we all act in accord with our conscious and unconscious positions, thoughts, ideas, and prejudices. Duh... It's OK, it's fine. But we need to be mindful of them, and be sure to honor them (or not) and acknowledge that they're there... And, maybe, sometimes, tell them to go sit on the sofa and shut up. Maybe we should all have a "beer summit" with someone we're not totally comfortable with. What a thought.

This whole hoo-hah reminded me of a block party (in my neighborhood) I attended some years ago. (If I've already told this story, work with me.) As many of you know, the city/town in which I live, here in Silicon Valley, is about 2/3 Asian these days. Chinese, mostly, but lots of Indian families, a smattering of Russians, some Israelis, some Japanese, and goodness knows what else. And some of us run-of-the-mill white folks. Anyway, at this block party, there was a good ethnic mix. I ended up, at one point, sitting next to a gentleman of Chinese ethnic heritage. I cannot, now, remember if he was an ABC (American-born Chinese) or born overseas (either in Hong Kong, Taiwan or on the mainland). We did the who are you dance, realized that we both had kids in the local high school (predominantly Asian), and started talking about the school. Long story short, we were both not too happy with the amount of pressure the kids were put under, the amount of homework, etc., etc. I think I said something about well, it's well known that Chinese parents put so much pressure on their kids. He seemed surprised, and then said, "Well, we always thought it was the white parents who wanted all this!" Nothing like talking to each other... We all should do a lot more of it... And that includes spouses, life partners, dating couples, friends, parents and children, whatever. Just my five cents.

OK, I think I've run out of steam. Thank goodness for my blog. I'd keep a diary, and I've tried it, but it seems so . . . blah . . . Perhaps the thought that others might -- MIGHT -- read what I have to say drives me to organize my thoughts, and actually write stuff. Who knows.

It's a beautiful day here in SiliValley today, I'm in a good place (i.e., on the positive side of the equilibrium/disequilibrium helix), and the kittens are napping somewhere (probably on my pillow). Life is good. I may have one of those cupcakes I stashed in the fridge last night.

Have a good one, everybody!

Catching Up...

So, everything is in an uproar and OK, all at the same time. The kittens are fine (a bit traumatized, however, after a trip to the Humane Society for their follow-up vaccinations), The Spouse is fine (working on his projects, including his cars), everything in the kitchen is fine and working as it should (thanks be) (OK, there's a little chip in the edge of the sink -- blast!!!), the weather is gorgeous (absolutely no caveats here), we fixed the color issue on the TV which popped up when we moved it back into the family room (a loose cable on the magic box) (easily fixed), the laundry is done (for the moment), and the new carpet got installed this morning.

However, work still needs to be done in the two rooms that got the new carpeting ... A bit of touch-up painting in the guest room (formerly The Graffiti Room), flooring installed in the bottom of the closets in both rooms, shelving replaced in the closet of the guest room, new bed needs to be purchased for the guest room (and also new bed linens -- that will be fun!), furniture needs to be painted for the guest room (I hope the primer will cover the graffiti on the bedside table and the bureau) (grrrrr), curtains for the guest room window (until the new window goes in, and then new plantation shutters), replace the sliding closet doors in the guest room (they got pulled out for painting and other improvements)... I'm exhausted just writing it down!

Of course, part of the carpet installation was cleaning out the two rooms; the photo on this post is my living room, which now looks like a warehouse. I don't even want to go in there and see it... It's going to be a pain in the butt sorting everything out again. I sense a huge garage sale coming!

Then, we get to go play in the kitchen at the Berkeley house... It's coming along, but there is still a lot of mudding and taping and sanding and re-mudding to be done. Then, and only then, we can start thinking about installing the new cabinets. And we still need to deal with the two windows over the sink... It never ends... And that's only the beginning of what needs to still be done...

And, I gave up drinking my nightly Cosmo's, because I think there were far too many calories and/or carbs in that lovely little beverage. I still have a glass of white wine with dinner, but that's it. (I refuse to give up my Friday night Cosmo, though... really, there are limits!)

I know, compared with the wars simmering and/or burning in many areas, floods, earthquakes, plagues, drought, heat, disease, poverty and general misery, this is just pure drivel. I know that, I do... But I just cannot contemplate all that right now. I'm deep in denial, and just sort of drifting. I don't know why. I just am.

So, enough of my petty crap. I need to go do something meaningful. Like going to the grocery store. Really.

On the upside...

See photo, above. I may be in a funk about the amount of detritus strewn around my house, but AT LEAST I am not facing a plague of giant jellyfish. Apparently, they are infesting the Sea of Japan. IMHO, this is way too creepy for me. I went to the jellyfish exhibit at the Monterey Aquarium, and they were too cute -- the jellyfish, that is... (See my photos on my flickr page: http://www.flickr.com/photos/elinorina/...) But this is so definitely NOT a cute little jellyfish...

As you can see, I'm really trying to find the upside of everything. Really, I am. I swear.

However, sometimes, it's harder than usual. I had a very very very vivid dream last night, about my leaving The Company. I've had a number of these dreams; my therapist would probably say I'm still processing the whole trauma of leaving the best job ever. And, let it be noted, not by my own choice. Hey, I still have dreams about things that happened years and decades ago, so I'm not the type to "let go" easily or quickly (obviously). The Spouse says he doesn't understand how I don't remember things... he does, and it creeps me out, the amount of detail he pulls out of his head... But, au contraire -- I do remember things, truly... just not the same things that HE remembers. I remember things from kindergarten, early elementary school, various points in my youth, horrible things from my early adulthood (oh, the horror of my stupidity), and shining moments from random points in my life. I figure I just ditch those things I don't need to remember, and keep the rest.

Anyway, the photo of the giant jellyfish really got me going... I do not know why, it just did. I think because if I were fadoodling around in the surf, or if I were snorkeling, and came upon one of these monsters, I don't think I'd EVER go back in the water again! Really!

OK, that's all I want to say on that topic. It's still hot here, so I'm not ready to deal with dinner yet. Maybe it's time for a second Cosmo? Could be...

Saturday Morning

Ahhh, the luxury of sleeping in on a Saturday morning. Even though neither The Spouse nor I are "working" (at a "real" job) any more -- due to layoff, reorganization, whatever -- we decided that we still need to have some structure in our lives, so we set our alarm(s) to go off at 6:00AM and 6:10AM... Not that we actually get up until 7:00AM, but... Anyway, I made an executive decision NOT to set the alarm this morning. It was not a totally irresponsible decision, given that we were out late last night (got home about 11:15PM) (car club meeting) and then mucked about, watched the late TV news, read a bit, and didn't turn the light out until about midnight.

Well, we both sort of woke up about 6:00AM, but somehow (!) didn't finally really wake up and get out of bed until 9:00AM... Such sloth! Most excellent... When I opened the bedroom door, the kittens were patiently sitting there, waiting for The Humans to get with the program. They rushed in and promptly began playing! Boston (the all-black one) is fascinated with water, and tries, every morning, to get into the shower. I open the door and invite her in, but then she realizes what's going on, and decides against sharing the experience. She will, however, play with the running water in the sink... For some reason, she does not appear to worry about getting her paws wet. The other kitten, Philadelphia, is far more cautious, and simply decided to lay on the bedroom carpet in a patch of sun, and look cute as heck.

Both of us -- The Spouse and me -- woke up with headaches. Not from any indulgence last night, for sure, so we think it's maybe weather-triggered (changes in air pressure or other weather phenomena can trigger migranes). He took meds, I'm trying to hold out.

Frankly, I'm in a funk... For some reason, can't quite whip up the usual amount of enthusiasm. Perhaps it's the amount of household crap that needs to get done in the next couple of days, or something. It was easier, perhaps, when I was working at a "real" job -- because I knew I simply had to organize and get things done and there was no wiggle room! There is stuff piled up all over the house, and it's driving me NUTS! However, I am making progress: there are 12 cartons of fabric from my stash ready to go to the local junior college (for their fashion design program), there are tons of goodies set aside for a garage sale (not sure when I'll do that), just got rid of my big microwave (loaned to a friend who's getting her kitchen redone), the two upstairs bedrooms are due to get new carpet soon (yesss!!!) (after 19 years) (don't ask), and every week we get rid of tons of old crap. However, there are still tons left. My daughter is praying that nothing untoward happens to The Spouse and to me, because then she'd be left with one huge heck of a mess to clean up. (At least my lingerie drawers in the closet are neat!)

There's a photo here (above), taken when The Spouse, my daughter and I were in Oregon in June (for her graduation), and we went out to the coast, to Florence, Oregon... That's the feeling I'm searching for today. We shall see.

I wish all of you a FABULOUS weekend!