No, I Have Not Been Abducted by Space Aliens

Really, I haven't. I will admit that I haven't been as diligent as I might have been regarding updating this blog, but that seems to be the norm in the blogosphere (or is it the blogsphere?)... Many folks start blogs, thinking they'll be the next supernova in the literary universe, and then, pffft! gone! Well, I'm sort of there, I guess. One of the very valuable bits of advice I got when I started this blog was: write something every day, regardless (even if it's drivel, I guess). Well, I didn't, and I don't. Shame on me.

But, I write many things in my head (!) and have a number of draft postings in various states of progress. So, I guess my heart is pure... Well, as pure as it ever gets! Frankly, I have to say that, since I'm no longer working at The Company (or anywhere else, for that matter), I tend to . . . drift . . . a bit, and that drifting can go on for weeks! I'm not sure what it is I do all day, but I know I'm busy, fiddling and fadoodling around...

However, I really have no more excuses. My daughter has now graduated from college (yea!!!), this past weekend; the situation with The Spouse and I has sort of settled down (fingers crossed); the kitchen remodel is complete and my kitchen is pretty much put back together, and all is well... OK, the sewing stuff is still in huge piles all around the house, but I fear that'll be the situation for months, if not years, so that doesn't count. And the bedroom really does look like a percussion grenade has gone off in there... gotta clean it up ... But, bottom line, it's time to whip myself back into shape and get on with it!

I have three posts that should be up in the next week or so. They are on issues of import to me. I've been posting to my FaceBook page, and I'm twittering (tweeting?) but I'm not sure about that one. (Twitter did reconnect me with one person who was very very important in my life years ago, which is a wonderful thing, so it gets 10 points from me for that...) Perhaps if I had a multitude of "real" (work) projects to work on, I'd post more, since I'd be procrastinating on those projects... Ya think?

This evening, I attended an "alumni" function, sponsored by the law firm I last worked at, before I went in-house. It was good to reconnect with a bunch of folks -- in a way, felt like I never left! And it's been about 20 years... I don't know that I could ever work in a law firm again, frankly, but it was a great way to learn the business and hone my skills. There are lots of really good folks at the firm, and I wish them all well.

OK, that's it for the moment... More to come, I swear!

"Just" a Cat? No way...

Today, we had a very sad loss. Baby Kitty (a lovely cat, gorgeous, with at least three "official" names -- Coffee Badger, Snotspot, and Crema) was hit by a car on the street outside out house, and was killed immediately. I still cannot believe she isn't here, on the sofa, curled up in her spot, loving being close to her humans.

I know some will say, "Well, it was just a cat"... Baby Kitty was so far from being "just" a cat, I can't tell you. It's amazing to me that a little cat -- probably only about nine months old, and weighing maybe five pounds -- could leave such a hole in our lives.

Baby Kitty was a stray, as far as we know. She attached herself to a friend of my son's, in the parking lot of the local community college. As I understand it, she followed the friend to class, and that was it... He had to adopt her... Unfortunately, the friend couldn't keep Baby Kitty, so my son volunteered to adopt her.

When the spouse and I came back from Hawaii last month, we opened the door to our house, and there was this gorgeous little cat. Mostly Siamese, with the most incredible blue eyes I have EVER seen on a cat. She was small, but elegant. Her coat was cream and brown, and she had a black spot by her nose... Leading her to be named "Snotspot" by my son. I objected, because this gorgeous feline could NOT be saddled with such an embarrassing name... I called her "Crema" . . . not anyone's favorite name, but I had to put something down on the vet's paperwork. I could have called her "Latte" or "Frappaccino"... But, she was always just "Baby Kitty" to us...

This cat was extraordinarily attached to her humans. She loved to climb up on your shoulders, and curl herself around your neck, purring madly. If you were sitting in a chair, working on your laptop or whatever, it didn't bother her a bit to leap up on your back, navigate across your shoulders (sometimes right over your head), down your chest, across your lap, and then either keep on going or (as cats will do) lay right down on whatever it is you were working on. She would follow me, or The Spouse, on our daily rounds around the house and in the driveway and elsewhere on the property. She had to be RIGHT THERE with you... preferably, right under your feet...

She was a wonderful guard cat -- constantly on the alert for new folks who were coming into her territory. If she heard the contractors show up in the morning (we're having our kitchen redone), she'd alert us, her ears would go up, and she needed to fly out the door to inspect them, and whatever goodies they might have in their truck...

When I would wash the dishes, she'd run into the room, and flop down by my feet, or get up on the sink -- who knew what exciting things might happen, involving soap and water! When I'd water the plants in the garden, with my watering can (with the sprinkler attachment on the end), she'd be right there, trying to figure out what was going on, and liking the wet leaves... When I got into the bathtub, she'd get up on the rim, sit on the rim like the majestic feline she was, a dead ringer for some ancient Egyptian god-cat, and try to figure out what that mysterious thing was that stood between her and the ledge inside the tub (hint: it was water)... And, at dinner time, when I banged on the can of wet food, she'd come flying in from whatever adventure she'd been on, howling like a starved demon... After scarfing down her dinner (as well as the portion of wet food I'd put in the other cat's bowl), she'd jump up on the sofa with The Spouse and me, and curl up in "her corner", to lick herself, and finally just curl up for a blissful sleep. In the morning, if she was not allowed into the master bathroom (to wrestle the bath mat into submission and try and figure out why we were standing under a falling water stream), she'd cry and howl... And, if there were clean clothes folded on the bed, that was the best thing of all... a ready-made nesting place!

She recently discovered lizards -- small ones -- and was enchanted to find out how much more fun they were than fake fabric catnip-stuffed mice! She'd hunt bugs, too, and was starting to eye the birds that flock in the trees around our house. I don't know if she had yet discovered the deer that come down the creek each day...

Baby Kitty was pretty much all Siamese, as best as I can figure. She was sleek and elegant, and had the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever, ever seen on a cat. She was, all in all, gorgeous. I've had beautiful cats before, and Miss Pudge (our older cat) is pretty darn sleek herself (if a tad large), but Baby Kitty was . . . well, not sure . . . a stunner... She was a loving cat... I'd say she was almost dog-like in her attitudes, but that would surely piss off either the cat lover contingent or the dog lover contingent... She was the most mellow cat I've ever held... she'd just lay in your arms, not try to wiggle out, and let you futz with her to your heart's content... I shall miss her terribly...

So, "just a cat"? Hmmm, I think not. That's like saying, "just a best friend", or "just a husband", or "just a piece of my heart"... She livened up this house like a force of nature. She got Miss Pudge to move around again, after our really really old cat wandered off to a better place a few months ago... She wiggled her way into The Spouse's heart... She even got me to be a gibbering, cat-talking-to slave...

I sat with her in my lap for a while, before she was buried, stroking her, and telling her she was the best little cat ever, and the sweetest girl, and the prettiest kitten... She was still warm... I think she would have liked it, laying in my lap, in the gentle sun, under the trees, with a slight breeze... She is buried, wrapped in a beautiful blue towel that matches her eyes, in the corner of our garden, under the Japanese maple, behind the camellia bushes, close to the new azalea bushes that she was busily investigating just yesterday. There are dragonflies, and birds, and lizards to chase... I hope her soul (I'm sure cats have souls) (at least this one did/does) is enjoying her eternal play there... She'll always be in my mind and my heart, leaping through the vinca plants in the back of the house, pouncing on the bugs in the azaleas, and helping me dead-head the rhododendrons...

So, no, she was most definitely NOT just a cat. Like any beloved person in one's life, there will never be another like her. We miss her.

Mother's Day and Me...

I was going to title this post "Ruminations on Mother's Day", but I used that big word on the last entry... Can't keep doing that...

So, today, I was thinking about being a mom. You know, when I was little, I never, ever thought about growing up, getting married and having kids myself... No doubt a result of my really miserable mother-child interactions as a kid. I did have a fantasy about being a kindergarten teacher, however... I really liked little kids, even when I was a young thing... (Maybe that was some deeply-hidden and disguised maternal instinct...) Anyway, I grew up, led an aimless (but exciting) life, and finally got married, again, at the ancient age of 32... Then, boom! The breeding instinct kicked in with a vengence! My husband and I never really discussed having children (at least as I recall), so it's unclear to me, sitting here right now, years later, how it was that I ended up getting pregnant. (Don't make any smart-alec replies, please, I'm not talking about the physical aspects of it...) But, I do remember checking the pregnancy test strip and feeling very weird when it showed "pregnant" ... Weird... Totally... Like, this can't really be happening... I don't think I was sick with my first pregnancy; in fact, I recall feeling wildly, hugely sexy, powerful and energetic! (I have photos of me, pregnant, and I think I looked a lot like a whale in drag...) I could only eat pizza -- and lots of it -- and drink Coca-Cola... Everything else made me queasy... I don't think I thought, a lot, about the whole transition that was to come, but I can't tell you why. The spouse and I went to all the childbirth prep class, but I thought it was all nothing to do with me.

And then, labor... Holy moley, talk about an eye-opening experience. Enough about that. Long story short, a day later, there I am, with this little thing squealing (quietly) in my arms. I don't think it hit me for a few years what I had done! Really! It just seemed pretty natural and non-dramatic. My son was the dream baby -- I thought all babies were like this, so I got pregnant, AGAIN. My daughter was a TOTALLY different experience from day one. And, it continues to be wildly different with each kid, to this day. If I wasn't totally conscious at both births, it would not seem conceivable that they came from the same set of parents.

Anyway where did I start with this post... Oh, yeah, Mother's Day... I still, sometimes, can't fathom what being a mother is all about. I keep thinking that, at some point, I'll wake up and I'll have a second chance to really be a mom. It has all gone by so fast... One day, they're little neonates, the next day they're all big and graduating college... What's up with that?

I think I've done a good job being a mom, all things considered. I didn't have a great role model, and my husband didn't have a great role model either, in terms of parenting... But, how many people do, really? I wonder about that... There are days I think everyone should go through some sort of (mandatory) parenting class(es)... But, how realistic is that... And, anyway, you never know how good a job you've done, really... I mean, the results last as long as your kids (and their kids) (if any) live... Usually, you're not there to know what's occurred. Or, even if you're alive, you'll never really know... It's kind of like tossing a message in a bottle into the ocean... you just don't know where it'll go, who'll find it, and where and/or when, and what impact (if any) that message will have. Or the message can be destroyed or eaten by a sea creature or whatever... Talk about a cosmic crap shoot...

Am I glad I went ahead and had children? Yes, I am. (Not that it would do me much good if I weren't glad... talk about barn doors and horses...) My children are fascinating to me. They have broken my heart and filled me with such love and joy, I can't even explain it. I don't consider them reflections on me, nor part of me. I think of myself as a vessel, through which they came into the world. They have no obligations to me, other than to be the best that they can be. Their failures are their own, their successes are their own. They are their own people. Individuals, whole and separate. I am thrilled that they seem to love me, and want to talk with me. (Believe me, given my history and my husband's history with our respective parents, that's HUGE...) I hope that they have good lives, find love, and have children if that's what they want to do...

So, yes, Mother's Day... I don't need brunch or flowers or something special. In fact, I cleaned up the tool room at our rental house, and shlepped pipe and wood and generally worked my butt off. It was fine. I cooked a great dinner, and had a nice glass of wine. I'm healthy, my hair looks good, my sense of humor is (basically) intact, and I have relatively full possession of my faculties... All in all, not too bad... Did I call my mom? Nope. Do I feel bad about that? Nope. Never even occurred to me... A shame, really, but that's the hand that was dealt to me. I wonder, sometimes, what cosmic lesson I'm meant to learn from all that...

I hope all of you are doing well, and enjoying the day (well, at this point, the evening)...

Cheers!

Ruminations on time...

So, a few mornings ago, I woke up and lay there, thinking about time. Like, what day was it? And why do the days just seem to slide, one into another, in an endless, immutable, implacable, endless stream... It doesn't matter whether I get a lot done, or just sit around in a haze, or spend my day knitting or crocheting or thumbing through old issues of Oprah Magazine... the days pass anyway...

I had a lot more to say about the issue of time, but that was a few days ago, and by now I've forgotten much of what I wanted to say. Typical. But, today is nine months to the day since my last day at The Company. It seems like a week. My feelings are still quite abraded, and I'm actually (and surprisingly) very very bitter at my boss for the way he handled the whole issue. I wasn't irritated/upset/bitter for the longest time, but perhaps I was suppressing my feelings... (Ya think?) I'm apparently pretty good at that... A couple of days ago, I was driving back home from wherever, and was on the main drag in my city, where many of the buildings which are owned and/or leased by The Company are located. I stopped for a red light and, there in the crosswalk, right in front of me, was my former boss, just kind of schlumping along... He actually looked very small and beaten down, but for the slightest little second I thought, hmmm... what if my car had a malfunction? Bwahahahahaha... Nah, it was just a passing thought... I did, however, feel a surge of irritation, verging on anger, against him and what he did to me. The thing that bugs me, today, is that he totally f'd up my life (money-wise), and I'm pretty sure he didn't give it much of a thought. I'm trying very hard to get past that, but it's harder than it might be, since I'm not having any luck at all finding a job... Thank goodness The Company was good to me, and granted lots of lovely little stock options, and I had the good sense to exercise them periodically over the years and put the money to good use... So, I won't be living under a freeway underpass (at least in foreseeable future), but I still need to make the monthly payments... I mean, thank goodness for state unemployment funds, and thank goodness that The Spouse also is getting unemployment checks, so we're not starving, but...

Anyway, I am TRYING to keep this on a high, philosophical level... Ha! Time, yeah, that's what I was talking about. My daughter is graduating from college in a couple of months, and that is a shocker! These four years have gone by in a flash... I remember when she was in pre-school! And that seems like just yesterday! I think time is just a construct made up by old men, in an effort to mess with our mind... It's all too weird...

OK, nine months since I left The Company. Nine months is a whole pregnancy. When I was pregnant, it seemed like an eternity. But, it seems like yesterday that I walked out of my building, box of possessions in hand, totally devastated... Comparing the months since I left my job to a pregnancy really flipped me out, when I thought about it... I guess grieving takes its own time, doesn't it? I'm still having dreams about being back at The Company, which makes me very uncomfortable, but which I hear is quite normal. I think, if I had a new job, it might be easier. So, Universe, please hear this --- I need a job! Even a part-time or temporary job would be fine, thank you very much... Just something to get me out of this house!!! Aaaaccckkkk!!!

Breathe, that's it... Ommmm.... This is what happens when I'm not busy enough... Tomorrow, I'd pull weeds in the front garden, but it's supposed to rain... Maybe I can get to it before the rain starts? Maybe? Or not...

I am even boring myself tonight. So, enough for now.

Happy Earth Day!

So, today is Earth Day... What should be a totally non-controversial day, you'd think... After all, everyone lives on the earth, and on this issue, we surely will all sink or swim together!

What have I done for the cause? I now use cloth shopping bags when I go to the market -- not good at remembering for other errands, but I'm trying. I keep them all on the back seat of my car, so at least they're available and handy when I drive around. I saw a pattern in my newest knitting magazine for crocheted market bags, that fold up into two little crocheted circle pieces (which are also part of the bag), and you can stuff the bag in your purse, since it's so small. That sounds like a good idea, since it would address the "oops I'm here without a 'green' bag" issue...

We also have swapped out a lot of our incandescent light bulbs in our house for CFLs, and haven't seen any degradation in light. We do have a floor lamp in the big living room that is a halogen one, and that gives off a ton of light, but also a lot of heat. I haven't found a decent floor lamp using or capable of using CFLs that is as good... A particular issue for me, since my night-time eyesight is not as good as it used to be, and I like to be able to read/knit/whatever at night.

What else... We recycle everything possible, although living in the area/country/time we're in, it's not as easy as it might be. We try and consolidate our errands. We are careful about water usage. We don't use our A/C at all in the house, but rely on fans. (Of course, the A/C really doesn't work very well, so why burn the energy at all...)

Yep, we are living saints... Ha! I wish we would/could do more, but we do what we can.

I hope all of you are being so terribly green today... I'm off to find something else to do to support Earth Day... But, it's not yet 5:00PM here, so it won't involve drinking any wine!

Cheers!

Viva Las Vegas...

So, this past weekend, The Spouse and I went to Las Vegas... For those who know me, you're thinking ... what? why? huh? Well, The Spouse's sister and mother live there... His mother is 87, bedridden (from a recent fall and resulting broken hip), has dementia, and is still strong as an ox and intermittently sharp as a tack. She could depart tomorrow or last another 20 years... And his sister is taking care of her, full-time (the mother lives with the sister). I felt that, as part of supporting the current reconciliation with The Spouse, I should support a family visit. (The Spouse was there, in Las Vegas, at Christmas -- while I was in Paris with The Princess -- and he later commented that he really liked spending time with his family...) (No comment...)

Anyway, it wasn't too bad. The weather was cool, not beastly hot, so that was a blessing. The first two nights, we stayed at a hotel, and the third night we stayed with his sister, her husband and the mother in their new house, south of Las Vegas in a newly developed area. The house is top of the line, in a planned, gated development that's laid out for 200 homes... 14 have been built... Yep, the slowdown is hitting everywhere. The house is not my style, but lovely. I particularly liked the back yard -- very well thought-out for outdoors living (i.e., after dark in Las Vegas when you don't get broiled by the sun and the heat).

We went to a Cirque Du Soleil show ("La Reve") (sorry I can't figure out how to put accent marks in), which was faboo... I saw two shows by the CDS years ago, in San Jose, and was fascinated... The LV show is a bit more commercial than the earlier works, but still pretty eye-popping. This show takes place in a water environment, and that simply blew my mind. Gorgeous young people were leaping in and out of the water with abandon, and I was sure a couple of times that they would kill themselves... Well worth the money we paid for the show. One other night, we went out to a very nice dinner with The Spouse's sister and her husband, and other than that, simply wandered up and down The Strip (we only saw ONE Elvis impersonator -- must be a slow time of the year), had a drink and some pupus at Trader Vic's, watched all the incredibly drunken college students (it was apparently Spring Break week), and spent time with the mother and the sister.

Oh, and we also saw the exhibit "Bodies", currently at the Luxor. This is the exhibit that features the preserved, dissected bodies and body parts of various donors/volunteers. As a wanna-be scientist from way back when, I was fascinated and could have stayed there for hours and hours. Unfortunately, The Spouse turned a nasty shade of green, and hung back from some of the more interesting exhibits. The human body is one of the most fascinating and gorgeous machines, IMHO. When I was around 11 or 12 years old, one Christmas, I got "The Visible Man" as a gift, and spent hours and hours and hours painting it. (For those of you too young to remember, this was a plastic model of a human being, maybe about 14 inches high, with all the organs inside, also made out of plastic, and you got neat little bottles of paint and a teensy-weensy brush, and you got to pain the organs and all the blood vessels... Keen! I loved that damn thing... Anyway, there were individual body parts that, somehow, got dissected and preserved... The lungs, the heart, various glands, parts of the respiratory system (including a little bunch of alveoli -- my personal favorite word), and -- blowing my mind -- the three little bones in the inner ear (the hammer, the anvil and the stirrup) (I don't know or remember their correct names); those things are TINY!!! I know I had seen illustrations of them in some book, allegedly real-time size, at one point, but I had never seen them for real... There were also a healthy pair of lungs and a portion of a smoker's lung -- and there was a big plexiglass box next to that exhibit, with a sign urging folks to drop their cigarettes in the box and quit smoking NOW. The box was about half-full. I don't know why anyone would smoke one more cigarette after seeing that.

There were also signs throughout the exhibit, referring to the illnesses and stresses on the body that are caused by obesity... Well, pretty interesting, given the issue of what many folks in this country look like. I am consistently amazed when I travel around and see folks from other parts of the U.S. (i.e., other than California) -- the degree of "largeness" is jaw-dropping. I am at a loss to understand how folks can abuse their bodies like that. But, even going through the supermarket here in my area, the CRAP that I see in other folks' carts blows my mind. It's really hard to cook/eat healthily these days, I know that -- too many convenience foods, too many prepared foods, too much to do in too little time, blah blah blah... But, come on, folks... Chemicals, fat, salt, sugar... in moderation, not too bad; but, moderation seems to be a concept that isn't familiar with many people.

OK, enough of my judgmental ranting for the moment. But, it just kills me -- because the burden on the public health system arising out of this widespread obesity is not yet fully understood. And, the huge percentage of our children who are obese is pretty damn scary. And I'm not talking about the BMI measure of obesity (I think I'm on the borderline of obesity by their measure), but just the plain old eye-popping obesity one sees out and about... It's so so sad...

What else... The Great Kitchen Remodel is toodling along quite well. I'm absolutely thrilled and cannot wait to get my kitchen back. Cooking in the front hall isn't too bad, but shlepping dirty dishes from the front hall to the second bathroom, through the living room and down the hall, is getting to be a REAL pain in the patookie. And, the sinks in that bathroom are lovely but little, so you can wash like two cereal bowls and two small glasses at once, and that's it. I know, I know, I'm such a spoiled princess... So sue me...

And, the job hunt is disheartening. Jobs are scarce, at least for folks at my level of seniority. I did apply for unemployment insurance, finally, and got my first check a few days ago. I must tell you, I felt awfully odd, filing for unemployment. But, hey, I got over it. I didn't file for months, since I wasn't looking for work -- just hanging out and trying to maintain my sanity... But, once I did decide to re-enter the workforce, and started looking, I figured I was doing everything I was supposed to do.

Well, it's late, I got my feet rubbed tonight (at my favorite local Chinese foot spa), had oatmeal for dinner (comfort food), and I'm ready for bed. The seasonal allergies are making me nuts, and the wind has been brutal the past couple of days, so the pollens are beastly... My eyes are red and teary, and my nose is dripping... I look like I've been on some sort of cocaine-fueled bender for the past week... Ah, if only... No, seriously, that would be very bad. But I hate these allergies. I take meds for it, so I can only imagine what condition I'd be in without the meds!

More to come... In the meantime, I hope all of you are doing well... Anyone doing the "no poo" thing? If so, I'd love to hear from you...

Cheers!

Today's Episode...

The title of today's post infers that there's been a series of (relatively recent/current) episodes... Not so much... What? Did you think I got kidnapped by space aliens? Was a victim of white slavers who discovered a fabulous untapped market for women of a certain age? (Ha! I wish...) No, nothing so dramatic. It's just that since my last post (was that a lifetime ago?), my day-to-day life has been in turmoil (as opposed to last year? ha! again), and I simply could not focus enough to write a coherent sentence, much less an entire post.

So, a brief bring-you-up-to-date post: On Inauguration Day, I went to my lawyer's office, and signed divorce papers; I called that the death of hope/birth of hope step. President Obama stepping up, me moving on. A few days later, my husband got on a plane to Asia, to see his True Love and celebrate Tet (the New Year) in Saigon and other parts of Vietnam. I was pretty darn upset that day, but got over it rather rapidly. I mean, once I'm presented with a set of facts, I deal with it and get on with the plan. It seemed to me that my spouse had made his choice, and there you go. Fine. I bought a new bed the very next day (!), bought some furniture, had dinner with an old friend (I've known him for about 30 years) and his kids (his wife is deceased -- she was my best friend in grad school and my kids' godmother), got kissed quite thoroughly by him (and wasn't that a lovely surprise), got new eyeglasses (very mod and not at all like I'd been wearing for years), got my hair dyed dark(er) (closer to my "natural" color) (to the extent I remember it), decided I would grow my hair into a Katie Holmes bob (as long as I don't have to deal with anyone like Tom C., her husband, I'm good), and perked up considerably.

Then, the husband sends an email from across the sea, and in that email is an "I miss you" statement. I'm thinking, what??? He's on a trip with his True Love, the woman he's ruined our marriage for, and he misses me? Hmmm... OK, we'll see what's up. He gets home, and is at my house within a few hours. Hmmm again. After a bit of chitchat, he says let's go out to dinner on Friday night, he wants to talk about some things. OK, fine. More hmmm... Friday comes, off we go to our usual Friday-night place (why not -- after all, I like it a lot and they make very very good Cosmos), and after a bit of hemming and hawing, he says that he realizes there's no future for him with his True Love, they have nothing in common, he doesn't want to live over there, she'd drive him crazy in short order, and they were getting the hairy eyeball from many folks on the street (there's a 30-year plus age difference). Hmmm, indeed! I could have written this script! In fact, I predicted it! He wants to reconcile with me, and what do I think? Wow. What do I think, indeed. We agree to both think about it for a week or so.

We thought about it, and after some serious inner wrestling with my feelings, I decided that we should try it again. I know, I know... I said that if he got on the plane, that was it -- all was over, period, finish. Well, as was said in one of those James Bond movies, never say never. So, little by little, he started hanging around more and more, and then finally stayed over one night, and then more nights, and there you go.

I'm cautiously optimistic. I mean, I've seen this video before, and it didn't end well. I call this chapter "hope in a cryogenic state" or "hope on ice"... I'm taking it day by day, and not investing 100% of my heart into this. I don't need to have it broken again. I am taking my husband's words at face value, and waiting to see how he acts. I think I'd like things to work out, for the long haul, because he's funny and fun and talented, and we have a whole lot of years together. Frankly, notwithstanding the most excellent kisses I got from my friend (and the knowledge that there are men out there who kiss just as well, if not better) (well, I'm not sure there is better), and that there are many men out there who would treat me like the queen or goddess that I am, I'm not sure that I am willing to invest the energy into locating, finding, getting to know, and getting comfortable with another man. Yes, I know, it's totally possible to live a wonderful, fulfilling life without a man. But, I probably would not choose to do that, at least right now. So, I'd be not only looking for a job (and that's another story entirely) but looking for a boyfriend/partner/whatever... I don't know that I really want to be doing that at this point.

So, bottom line, so far, so good. For today, anyway. Keep your fingers crossed. And I promise that I'll be more regular about composing witty, pithy, on-point posts. Or, not... I do have lots to say, but the thoughts generally occur to me when I have my hands in dirty dishwater, or when I'm in the shower, or when I'm just about to fall asleep. . . . And you know what that means -- they never, ever get written down!!! Rats!!!

And, remember, Yes We Can!!!