Today's Episode...

The title of today's post infers that there's been a series of (relatively recent/current) episodes... Not so much... What? Did you think I got kidnapped by space aliens? Was a victim of white slavers who discovered a fabulous untapped market for women of a certain age? (Ha! I wish...) No, nothing so dramatic. It's just that since my last post (was that a lifetime ago?), my day-to-day life has been in turmoil (as opposed to last year? ha! again), and I simply could not focus enough to write a coherent sentence, much less an entire post.

So, a brief bring-you-up-to-date post: On Inauguration Day, I went to my lawyer's office, and signed divorce papers; I called that the death of hope/birth of hope step. President Obama stepping up, me moving on. A few days later, my husband got on a plane to Asia, to see his True Love and celebrate Tet (the New Year) in Saigon and other parts of Vietnam. I was pretty darn upset that day, but got over it rather rapidly. I mean, once I'm presented with a set of facts, I deal with it and get on with the plan. It seemed to me that my spouse had made his choice, and there you go. Fine. I bought a new bed the very next day (!), bought some furniture, had dinner with an old friend (I've known him for about 30 years) and his kids (his wife is deceased -- she was my best friend in grad school and my kids' godmother), got kissed quite thoroughly by him (and wasn't that a lovely surprise), got new eyeglasses (very mod and not at all like I'd been wearing for years), got my hair dyed dark(er) (closer to my "natural" color) (to the extent I remember it), decided I would grow my hair into a Katie Holmes bob (as long as I don't have to deal with anyone like Tom C., her husband, I'm good), and perked up considerably.

Then, the husband sends an email from across the sea, and in that email is an "I miss you" statement. I'm thinking, what??? He's on a trip with his True Love, the woman he's ruined our marriage for, and he misses me? Hmmm... OK, we'll see what's up. He gets home, and is at my house within a few hours. Hmmm again. After a bit of chitchat, he says let's go out to dinner on Friday night, he wants to talk about some things. OK, fine. More hmmm... Friday comes, off we go to our usual Friday-night place (why not -- after all, I like it a lot and they make very very good Cosmos), and after a bit of hemming and hawing, he says that he realizes there's no future for him with his True Love, they have nothing in common, he doesn't want to live over there, she'd drive him crazy in short order, and they were getting the hairy eyeball from many folks on the street (there's a 30-year plus age difference). Hmmm, indeed! I could have written this script! In fact, I predicted it! He wants to reconcile with me, and what do I think? Wow. What do I think, indeed. We agree to both think about it for a week or so.

We thought about it, and after some serious inner wrestling with my feelings, I decided that we should try it again. I know, I know... I said that if he got on the plane, that was it -- all was over, period, finish. Well, as was said in one of those James Bond movies, never say never. So, little by little, he started hanging around more and more, and then finally stayed over one night, and then more nights, and there you go.

I'm cautiously optimistic. I mean, I've seen this video before, and it didn't end well. I call this chapter "hope in a cryogenic state" or "hope on ice"... I'm taking it day by day, and not investing 100% of my heart into this. I don't need to have it broken again. I am taking my husband's words at face value, and waiting to see how he acts. I think I'd like things to work out, for the long haul, because he's funny and fun and talented, and we have a whole lot of years together. Frankly, notwithstanding the most excellent kisses I got from my friend (and the knowledge that there are men out there who kiss just as well, if not better) (well, I'm not sure there is better), and that there are many men out there who would treat me like the queen or goddess that I am, I'm not sure that I am willing to invest the energy into locating, finding, getting to know, and getting comfortable with another man. Yes, I know, it's totally possible to live a wonderful, fulfilling life without a man. But, I probably would not choose to do that, at least right now. So, I'd be not only looking for a job (and that's another story entirely) but looking for a boyfriend/partner/whatever... I don't know that I really want to be doing that at this point.

So, bottom line, so far, so good. For today, anyway. Keep your fingers crossed. And I promise that I'll be more regular about composing witty, pithy, on-point posts. Or, not... I do have lots to say, but the thoughts generally occur to me when I have my hands in dirty dishwater, or when I'm in the shower, or when I'm just about to fall asleep. . . . And you know what that means -- they never, ever get written down!!! Rats!!!

And, remember, Yes We Can!!!