Walking Alone...

This afternoon, it was so gorgeous out, I decided to take a walk through the neighborhood. Usually, in times past, my spouse and I would do the walk... We call it "The Loop". It is, in fact, a loop through the quieter streets of our area, and there are always interesting things to see. Currently, there are two new houses (the old ones having been scraped) being built. One is a McMansion, and it makes my teeth hurt to look at it, and the other is a one-level house, being put up by a "green" builder. Hmmm... The McMansion is, from what I've been able to learn, the "dream house" for a family. It's a huge puppy, complete with a full (finished) basement, which is the latest rage in these monster homes. (I guess it's for the nanny or the au pair or the grandma or some such thing.) This one is, IMHO, not even very well designed. And some of the materials are not Grade A... It is, in fact, a dog's breakfast. I'm reserving judgment on the "green" house, but thus far it is winning in the esthetics race simply by virtue of not being a hulk. The area is full of single-level houses, for the most part. The neighbors probably had kittens when the plans for the monster were revealed, and our city's planning department probably caved like a wet noodle. Makes me very irritated. And, they paid a fortune for the old house and the land, and no doubt the new house isn't cheap, either. Well, good for them. I admire people with more money than sense. :-)

But, the alone part. As I said, usually this is a walk I would do with my husband. He'd hold my hand and we'd do a nice stroll, critiquing the various houses, and just chatting away. It was extremely odd to be walking by myself. Then, I realized that it wasn't so bad. I could walk fast, or slow, or stop, without someone getting twitchy. I stopped here and there, and just took it all in. I thought of it as an allegory for the rest of my life: now walking alone, and not as part of a pair. And it's OK. At least, it's OK today. We'll see what it's like tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. I have a feeling this will be a journey of a million steps.

Another upside of being a single person: I can cook whatever the heck I want for dinner! Sounds like a small thing, but when you've spent decades worrying about what Someone (no names) might consent to eat, it's very liberating. On the other hand, I'm finding it terribly hard to stop old habits -- the most prevalent one being the habit of taking care of my husband, noticing things in the store that I know he'd like, thinking about things to do or to cook or whatever that he might like. Rats! I need to get all those patterns out of my head! But, like everything else, it'll just take time.

I'm so excited about the Inauguration tomorrow. What a thrilling time in our lives... I never thought I'd see the day when a person of color was elected to the highest office in the land. About darn time, too, I think. I wish I was in D.C., just to be there. But, I'll have to content myself with watching on TV. It just gives me goosebubbles (as my kids used to say).

I hope you are all doing well. Cheers!