Yep, it's been a long time since I had a margarita. However, needs must. I'm here in Oxnard, in Southern California, with my husband. We're on a mission to retrieve the two vintage Jaguars we bought in England, which have now arrived in the US. It's iffy if we can actually get them and drive them back to our home tomorrow, so both of us are a tad whipped up. No stones are being cast at anyone regarding the f'd up state of affairs regarding knowing in advance just what is needed to spring the cars from the custody of the US Government, by the way. But, we're here, with papers and money and all kinds of explanations, so perhaps we'll get lucky.
When I last lived in Southern California (about 24 years ago), I don't recall Oxnard being anything other than a laid-back surfer town. But, when we pulled in, the town is bigger, dingier (sorry, Oxnardians), and far more Latino in flavor than we recalled. Bottom line, we ended up going to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. (The spouse hates Mexican food, so his agreement to try the place was astonishing.) Anyway, in order not to insult the ownership of the restaurant, I was FORCED to have a Margarita to begin the festivities. In fact, I was FORCED to have another, just to save face. I cannot feel my face at this point, after the two Margaritas, so they (the Margaritas) get two thumbs-up. I think my fish tacos were good, but can't remember exactly...
The drive down Highway 101 from the Bay Area was lovely. Years and years ago, when I was in law school at Berkeley, and the then-boyfriend was languishing in Los Angeles, I'd make that drive at least once a month. Highway 5 is fast and straight, but BORING... Highway 101 is lovely, slower, and more interesting. We left our home at 11:30AM, made two brief stops, and pulled into Oxnard at about 6:30PM. Not too bad. And, if things work tomorrow, we get to turn around and drive back to the Bay Area! My back will be in spasm, so I will need at least one glass of wine when we get home, maybe two.
I have fallen apart, emotionally, several times in the past few days. I am so torn about this upcoming road trip/separation. But, everyone agrees that I need it -- we both need it -- and it'll probably be fine, but it's been a long time since I've taken off on my own. (Well, I'll be with my DD for the last part, and it will be fabulous, but the first part is just me and the open road.) I'm so used to either traveling on business with colleagues (you know who you are, Bao Sister), or with my husband, that this is freaking me out. I also think it's terribly terribly sad that, for the first time in 28 years, we'll be apart on Christmas and our anniversary. Well, given where I think things are heading, and all the crap we've been through, it's probably just as well. But it will still hurt.
I was making a list of all the crapola I want to stash in my car, and really I'm going to look like a traveling tinker! I've got books, magazines, sewing projects, clothes (several sets), iPod, iPhone, chargers, computer, blah blah blah... And water, blankets, chains, work gloves, ratty towels... And my own pillow (yes, I am a princess)... To say nothing of all the toiletries I seem to need... (When did I become so high maintenance?) And my CDs... (The music ones, not the financial instruments...)
At this point, I feel myself withdrawing from everyone, emotionally, simply as a defense mechanism. I hate this. I've worked so hard to open myself up, and now I feel just like the old me... Walled off, apparently cold (but most certainly not)... When I think about all the stuff that's gone on this past year, and all the stuff yet to be gone through, it's overwhelming. But, I am strong, I am in good health, I have some money put aside, and I'm smarter than the average bear... I have friends and family who love me and who'll take care of me. I am blessed. I need to keep that in mind.
Whew. That was quite therapeutic... Sorry to vent so much, but...
Have a good week ahead, everyone!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment