The Upside of Anger [not the movie]

So, I never did see that movie, "The Upside of Anger", although my daughter told me the plot. However, for the past couple of days, I've been meditating on the nature and effect of anger on me and the quality of my life. Used appropriately, anger can focus me, and get me to get off my duff and address whatever it is that's gotten me mad. Sometimes, anger has been an appropriate stage in working through an untenable situation; I'm awfully good at sublimating and smiling while boiling inside... Migranes? No worries... Sometimes, though, I do admit to letting the red devils slither out a bit, and I'll lash out, explicitly or by snarkiness or very passive-aggressive comments. I did the last earlier this week. I ought not to have done it, but at the time, it felt awfully good. Well, okay, not good, but at least familiar. Got to stop that.

In my current situation, anger has served to cause the scales to fall from my eyes, and to look at things with a more realistic bent, and to realize that perhaps it's time to move forward on a path I would not have chosen, but which appears to be the path that's been chosen for me. As my son says, I can't cover the sky with my hand. In other words, wake up and look around, and go with the situation. I've tried to move heaven and earth, and change the time-space continuum, and erase the impact of the past... All to no great effect... But, I'm glad I did it, as I can move forward with a clean heart and clean hands. In one of my earlier posts, I talked about things like this... At the time, the path may not be evident, or may look too rocky to tread, or may appear to be a false path; but, in retrospect, looking back, the path is absolutely clear. Doesn't mean it's fun...

The itinerary for my road trip is coming together. If it all weren't so sad, I'd be excited. The checklist of crapola to take with me is growing exponentially. It's going to be a "learning experience"... I hate "learning experiences"...

Hope all of you are doing well.