Weird, Weird, Weird

OK, now I know for sure (viz: Oprah) that I have been married to The Spouse for FAR TOO LONG. Let me tell you why: Last night, I had a dream that I was -- somehow -- talked into driving his Lotus Elise (the little yellow bombshell) in a race; I believe it was at Sears Point Raceway (or whatever corporate moniker is currently attached to that venue). For reasons not made totally clear in the dream, I had gone along with this INSANE idea -- I must have, because we were both at the track, and I had "parked" the car close to the grid, to be ready to form up when the signal was given.

Then, it got strange. (Yes, I know, but work with me on this...) I started arguing with The Spouse, telling him I didn't know anything about driving in a race, I had no idea how to tell I'd finished a lap, I didn't have racing shoes on (just my tennies, which are too clumsy to manipulate the pedals), I didn't know the course, and I couldn't possibly see out of the helmet! He just kept "there-there'ing" me, telling me it would all be fine, and not to worry.

At this point, I'm getting seriously worked up... The people who supervise the race are there, and not apparently worried that they can't see a good part of the track and that this newbie -- me -- is about to wreak havoc on the track. For some reason, there were a lot of women drivers for the race -- I was in the paddock, pitted next to a very nice lady, and her little girl was there (being held by her dad), and I started talking to the little one, before I realized that I was scared s**tless!

I had just about talked my spouse into taking my place, and was starting to strip off my racing suit, when I woke up. In a sweat. Jeez!

When I told him about this dream, The Spouse just smiled. Later on this morning, we watched a re-broadcast of today's F1 race, from Germany. He told me to watch what the drivers were doing, and to relax, because it's easy! Go straight, go fast, and don't smack into anyone else. OK, then, how hard could it be? Hahahaha... Look, I won't even drive the 1961 Jaguar sedan because I'm in a panic about what would happen if I smacked into anything (my hand-eye coordination isn't the best any more -- not that it was ever great)...

So, here's the current state of play: He's gotten me to try tennis (and I'm liking it pretty well); he got me to try scuba (on our last trip to Hawaii -- I did sit on the ocean bottom for a little bit -- okay it was only about 25 feet deep but it was real and I had the full scuba kit on); he's gotten me to cut way down on the amount of salt I use on my food (grudgingly); he's gotten me to sleep commando (I know, TMI); and he's gotten me to do all kinds of things I swore I'd never do (but all totally PG-rated)... Why do I think car racing wouldn't be included in that list, at some point?

Well, all I'm saying is, stay tuned...