Sunday... Encore de rien?

Well, another lovely day here in Northern California...  Nothing much happened, at least that I can write about here...  Got up late, watched a bit of "Sunday Morning", went out for coffee, ate Thai food leftovers, went over to the Berkeley house and actually did a few chores, and now we're back here, contemplating the infinite...  Or at least I am...

Tomorrow is Labor Day, making it a three-day weekend.  Not that it means much to me, as I am now a lady of leisure, at least until the first of the year.  However, it does mean that the spousal unit will be around tomorrow, which is nice.  We have a reservation to go and hit the tennis ball at 11:00AM tomorrow, and then we'll start swirling, getting ready for our vacation.  Actually, we'll be taking two trips, back to back, but will be wandering the globe for a little over three weeks.  Two piles of clothes and other goodies are rapidly growing on the dining table, and I'm sure we'll forget something.  

I'm still brooding about the movie we watched last night, Fellini's "8-1/2"...  Actually, it depressed the hell out of me, for very personal reasons.  There's a part of me which is very sorry I ever watched it.  But, I did and can check it off my cultural to-do list.  (Still really ought to rent "La Dolce Vita" and watch that...  maybe...)

But, I do have the NYT Sunday puzzle waiting for me, and the laundry is done, and the recycling is out at the curb, and it's not over 100 degrees here, and all is well, I think.  Both Cal and Oregon won their football games yesterday (yea!!!), so what more can one ask for?  (Don't answer that...)

Sorry to be so trite here, but some days, that is just the way it is.  Perhaps I should have waited until after my second Cosmo to write?  Nah, bad idea...

OK, more tomorrow.

Cheers!

Fellini on a Saturday Night

So, we have Netflix (well, I mean, who doesn't?), and we've had the DVD of Fellini's "8-1/2" sitting here for over a month, so we've decided to watch it (finally), so we can get it out of here and move on to whatever is next on the list (probably some other foreign-language film that's going to sit around for another month).  I am ashamed -- sorely and deeply ashamed -- to admit that I have never seen this movie!  This, despite the fact that ANYONE who had ANY pretensions to intellectualism back in the 1960s (and, maybe, the 1970s, but my memories of that era are a weensie bit fuzzy) claimed to have seen the movie numerous times and to have understood all the bizarre allusions.  In fact, at times in my life, I have felt (or so I told folks) that I was in the middle of a Fellini movie (inferring, of course, that it was 8-1/2)...  Liar, liar, pants on fire...

Hey, frankly, I could just sit and listen to Italian for hours anyway.  And Marcello M. was so young and so gorgeous in this movie, I am not sure I care about what the heck Fellini was trying to say (assuming, of course, that he was in fact trying to say anything, and not just having us all on).  This is one heck of a weird movie.  It came out in 1963... Where was I then?  Ooops, I don't even want to think about that.  But the hair styles and make-up in this movie do bring me back to my misspent youth.  We were all terribly au courant and elegant, weren't we?  Well, I was, don't know about you-all...

Speaking of Italian, I was in Fry's this afternoon, along with pretty much every high-tech geek in the general vicinity, looking for a new set of earphones for my iPod (my other pair -- a dearly beloved pair of Sony ones -- has grown legs and disappeared).  For reasons that are not totally clear, earphones are located in three different parts of the store.  (And, I'm sure there were other displays too, but I was running out of patience by the third needle in a haystack.) 

Anyway, I found a pair that cost less than $50 (I kid you not -- $50 for little gizmos that go in your ears -- what's up with that???) and had an extension piece (which is what my missing ones had), but was contemplating which set of the three I held to buy, when I heard some fellows launch into what seemed to be an argument, behind me.  However, after less than a minute, I realized that they were Italians, and were simply discussing the relative benefits of various models of earphones!  God, I love to hear Italians get into it.  Must be the genetic memory or some such thing.  So, being the shy retiring little flower that I am, I struck up a chat with them.  They are all from Milan (where my grandfather hailed from, so I seem to recall), and are here in SiliValley on business, on assignment at a large high-tech company.  I told them my last name (which is a very common one in the area of Milan), and there ensued much hand-waving, shoulder-shrugging, and rolling of eyes.  They were a bit miffed that I do not speak much Italian, but my girlish good looks no doubt carried the day.  It was fun.

Speaking of fun, a couple of days ago, I was running an errand, and parked the car on a side street off the main drag near my destination, and as I was walking I caught sight of a sign out of the corner of my eye, which piqued my interest.  The sign listed the name of the establishment as the "House of Pain"...  It's a tattoo parlor!  Frankly, I do not think I would (myself) patronize a tattoo salon with that name.  Seems like tempting the devil to me.  But I can't seem to get it out of my mind.  (Perhaps I should discuss this with my therapist when I next see her...)

What else...  Well, today, out of an excess of something or other, I attacked The Great Heap on the floor of the walk-in closet in our master bedroom.  (I was hunting for the missing earphones.)  (OK, I'm obsessing about them, so???)  Anyway, I sorted and threw out and organized, and am feeling terribly virtuous.  I also had one heck of a tennis lesson this morning -- the main teacher and the co-teacher ran our little butts off!  And that made me feel even mor virtuous.  Afterwards, I realized that I've really improved a lot, and that made me feel pretty darn good.  There are usually only four ladies who show up for class (there's about 10 men), and we are generally split off into our own little sub-group.  We're getting to know each other, and three of us will be getting together on Tuesday morning for a little session on our own.  My spousal unit has volunteered to make a fourth, so this ought to be fun!  

I never ever thought I'd be a suburban lady playing tennis on weekday mornings!  Oh, if the youthful me -- dressed all in black, smoking horrid French cigarettes and thinking big thoughts -- could see the present-day me...  She'd roll her eyes in disgust!  Ha, what did she know, anyway...  

For some reason, as I look back on each phase of my life, it seems like I've been pretty happy,in general, doing what I was doing.  (OK, there were some periods when I was pretty miserable, and indulged in incredibly stupid and demeaning and self-destructive behavior, but we'll just ignore those days...)  Maybe, now that I think of it, I'm the happiest now that I've ever been. Reaching 60 has EMPOWERED me (god, I hate that word, but it's pretty accurate) -- I really feel able to say "no" to people, to ignore folks who irritate me, to verbalize what I want and need (and my spousal unit is thrilled to accommodate me on many of those points), and I generally feel quite comfortable in my skin, perhaps for the first time in my life.  (Aside from the skin on my neck waggling and nasty little -- big -- creases down my face and jowls that sprang out of nowhere one day...)  But, I like the way I look, I am proud of what I've accomplished, I am confident of my abilities in many areas, and I think I finally am semi-convinced that The Competence Police will not show up at my house and haul me back to fifth grade to work on long division again!

OK, the more I look at this movie, I can see that really not too many episodes in my life were at all like it...  Sorry, then to all the folks I annoyed with my blah-blah about Fellini-esque experiences...

The spousal unit and I went out to dinner tonight (a shameless indulgence, given that I'm not working right now) (but we did get a 20% off coupon in the local Val-Pak envelope yesterday), to a very nice local Thai restaurant.  Good food, and we didn't eat too much.  Now, it's getting late, the cat is lounging on the cocktail table in front of us, we're listening to the Italian burble away from the movie, the crickets or cicadas or frogs or whatever outside are chirping away, the weather is cool, and all is right with the world.  I think.

I hope all of you are happy and content this evening.  More tomorrow...  Ciao!

The Plot Thickens...

Well, well, well...  Just listening to John McCain's announcement of Sarah Palin (Governor of Alaska) as his running mate.  So, is it a huge smack-down to the Demos? A desperate move by his team to suck up stray members of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuits/disgruntled feminists who are still seething over the perceived slight to Hillary?  What?  Should prove interesting, no?

You know, I just love national politics, I really do.  In a sick, fascinated kind of way.  Can hardly wait for the pontificating to start.  (Oh, wait, it just did...)

OK, back to errands.  Just had to share/post/vent a bit.  Fascinating, just fascinating...

More later!

The Convention (Part 2)

Wow, this is an HISTORIC night...  Who would ever have thought, way back in the early 1960s, that we would see someone like Barack Obama (that is, an African American man) making a speech as a candidate for President of the United States?  (And, please note, had things turned out differently, we'd be seeing a woman making the speech... either way, one heck of a milestone!)  Kind of makes my arms fill with goosebumps...  Regardless of what your political persuasion is, or which party and candidate you support, I think you will admit this is something to witness and to talk to your children (or grandchildren) about years from now.  Really really something.  I can hardly wait to see the Republican Convention, and what they say and do at that little clambake.

Sorry (well, sort of) for the rant in yesterday's post.  I do get whipped up about the state of things in the US these days.  I even thought of a few more points I didn't make, but should have:

I am deeply worried about what seems to me the growing "balkanization" of the populace, into groups that are identified by ethnic origin, and the assumption (on many people's part) that all of the people in that group think alike, and that they will vote based on their ethnic-centric issues (as pumped out by the media).  I grew up in Post WWII New York City, and by golly there were folks from every country and planet living there, and even though we were proud of our respective ethnic backgrounds, we were, first and foremost, Americans.  I don't hear a lot of that any more.  

I think I addressed this yesterday, but I am baffled about where the money needed to repair our nation's infrastructure and to invest in the technology and development needed to transition us to the next century, if the mantra continues to be "no new taxes"...  Who the heck is going to give the money to do all the needed work -- the Infrastructure Bunny?  I realize that we don't, here in the US, have the castle/peasants/Vikings heritage (i.e., the government as the protector of the populace in the face of external threats), but jeez louise!!!  Guys, come on...  There is absolutely nothing inherently evil about taxes!  Those rabble-rousers who go on and on about "the government" taking "your money"... well, yes, it is "your" money -- you earned it (or whatever).  But, you and each of you and each of us has an obligation to kick in a portion of your money into the communal "pot", so the government (which, by the way, is us, not some alien race come to earth to lord it over us) can do those things (build roads, defend the country, provide certain benefits and services on a national basis) which we cannot do individually.  And do not even get me started on letting private companies do it...  There are some good things about that paradigm, but more often than not, it just doesn't work -- very little accountability is often the result.  (I could make some snarky remarks about Blackwater and other private companies operating in Iraq, but that would be beneath me.)

OK, enough of that.  (Oh, heck, one more thing -- what about the development in Texas, where teachers can now carry concealed weapons?  My husband, who used to teach in the public schools, did twitch a bit when he read that...)

Ah, we live in interesting times.  Speaking of which, I really do miss KKH, my best friend from law school, godmother to my children, my best woman at my wedding, dear friend, role model, and general stand-up gal...  There have been so many times recently when I wish I had her here to smack me upside the head, feed me Barry's tea, harangue me about my politics, and let me whimper for at least an hour at a time.  I really really miss her.  When I was at my daughter's flat recently, it occurred to me that she (my daughter) somehow inherited her godmother's sense of style, and had made her apartment a warm, eclectic and inviting home.  (I might point out that my daughter also has a serious thing for Barry's tea... nature or nurture?)

Other than that, same old, same old...  Tonight was foot-rub night; the spousal unit and I have found a Chinese foot rubbing spa in the neighborhood; $20 for an hour of bliss...  We go every Thursday night...  I got hooked on this practice on a business trip to Singapore some years ago, and came home raving about it.  The husband just gave me "the look" and refused to try it... until HE went on a business trip to Singapore (with a stop-over in Hong Kong) and tried it, reluctantly.  He's a bigger fan of it now than I am!  (Well, almost...  I've been known to get it done daily when I'm working in Hong Kong or China...)  Anyway, that's always a treat for us.

The other highlight of the day was the latest issue of "Threads" magazine coming in the mail.  As you may have picked up, I love to sew.  This magazine always gets my creative juices flowing.  It's a bit pricey, and I probably should not indulge in it since I'm no longer working full-time, but heck I'd rather give up my daily S*bucks (which I have) than give up "Threads"...  So, that being said, I'll say au revoir for now, and go read it.  Again.  For the third time.

Have a wonderful evening, y'all...

Since you asked...

So, my BFF in Massachusetts asked me today, what is my political persuasion?  

Well, that's a very interesting question.  I guess I'm not any one thing.  (Sit back and take a breath, I'm about to go on a rant...)

I am passionate about personal responsibility.  I am not necessarily in favor of the inter-generational transfer of personal wealth. I believe in the necessity of paying taxes, but strongly believe that our government is a steward of those moneys and must be held accountable for spending them in a wise fashion, to create a sustainable society.  I believe that we are all responsible for creating a world that our children and our children's children can live in with a reasonable degree of comfort.  

I believe that our elected representatives should be allowed to serve as long as they are able to do so, in a responsible and fair fashion.  I believe that the government is us, and we are the government.  I believe that the government has a role to play in ensuring that the most vulnerable members of our society have the minimum needed to live adequately.  I believe that the government that governs least, governs best, but that it must indeed govern.  

I am aghast at the vast disparity in wealth in this country.  I am even more aghast in which individuals in this society seem to be able to accumulate obscene amounts of wealth in exchange for efforts which, while valuable, are ancillary (perhaps) to the basic needs of everyone's life.  

I will not tolerate discrimination against those members of our society on the basis of someone's religion, or someone's skin color, or someone's ethnic heritage, or someone's sexual orientation, or someone's political leanings.  I do not believe that people should have the right to yell "Fire!" in a crowded theatre without some consequence.  

I believe most strongly in personal responsibility, and in keeping one's word.  I detest hypocrasy.  I detest "drama queens".  I detest pettifogging nitpickers.  I detest with all my heart phonies of all stripes.  I detest prevaricators and liars.  (White lies to save the feelings of one's loved ones may be OK... do NOT tell me my new dress makes me look like Shamu, ok?)  

I cannot understand why this country is unable or unwilling to invest in its own future, by ensuring that our infrastructure is maintained and brought up to 21st Century standards.  I am appalled at the knee-jerk reaction to many initiatives of the Federal government, simply because they are that.  

I am despondent about the "me first" attitude I see throughout all sectors of this society.  I have faith in our heritage.  I have faith in the fundamental fairness of the bulk of the American people.  

I have a firm belief that almost every parent wants the same things for their children: that they have a full tummy, a warm and safe bed to sleep in, and a chance to be whatever they want.  

I am saddened by the fact that our jails are so full of people, whether or not one believes that they truly ought to be there.  I am appalled at the callousness of many people toward their fellow men/women.  I am saddened that there is still so much need in this country of plenty.  

I am amazed that there are many who demand "rights" for people who have not complied with the laws of this land; at the same time, I am filled with compassion for people whose lives in their own countries are so horrendous that they will chance death to come to the US to work in menial jobs.  

I am ashamed of my own judgmental nature, and my failure to live up to my basic human requirements: to be compassionate to my fellow man, to love my fellow man as I love myself, and to do unto others as I would have done unto me.  I smack myself in the head regularly for not paying attention to the beam in my eye, while carping about the mote in my fellow man's eye.  

I'm sorry we don't have a monarch (sometimes).  I wish our Congress was more like the Parliament of England.  (I just love the Prime Minister's Question Time...)  

I am appalled at the exaltation of "shareholder value" (which isn't really anything to do with shareholders) over creating a sustainable business model which would support all the employees in a meaningful fashion.  I am saddened by the over-reaching greed of many corporations and their lackeys.  

I am depressed about the tendency to measure a person's worth by the size of their bank account.  I get really depressed about the unfairness of it all.  

I am always uplifted by the spirit of the American people when faced with a tragedy or a crisis. I love our traditions and our customs.  I am proud to be from New York, where a multitude of cultures and traditions swirled around into a great melange of wonderful opportunities.  

I hate the fact that there is still no meaningful mass transit in the San Francisco Bay Area (including, my friends, the Silicon Valley)...

So, what does that make me?  Well, I've been registered as a member of the Democratic Party for years -- longer than I can remember.  I've voted in just about every election that I've been eligible to vote in since I did register to vote, way back when.  Yes, I suck in my breath when I write that check to the IRS every year, but mostly because I know the money (or most of it) will be shredded and sucked into a black hole on a war that ought never have been started, or on programs that are bogus to the extreme.  I guess I'm a quasi-monarchist Socialist on most days... Sometimes I veer toward New Deal Democratic.  Some times, sort of Republican.  Oh, darn, who knows.

This question is right in the forefront of my brain right now.  I'm watching Bill Clinton address the Democratic Convention.  Love him or hate him, he is one heck of a speaker.  (Much like the Dear Leader of The Company, but better...)  He could sell ice cubes to eskimos, I think...  He is unbelievable...  I don't think he really got the recognition he deserves.  (OK, he has got some personal issues but I'm beginning to think that many men are weak of spirit and tend to stray in the physical sense, kind of like stray dogs...)  Thank you, Bill!  One heck of a speech -- but way too short for you!!!  Not even half an hour!!!  We wuz robbed!!!

Isn't this an amazing time in our history?  For the first time, an African-American man is the candidate of a major political party.  And his challenger, right until the last minute, is a woman! (Hey, I'm still irritated that he didn't choose Hillary as his running mate -- I think that ticket would have won the election hands down -- but for some reason, no one called to ask me my opinion...)  Wow...  Who would have thunk it?  What a time to be alive...  Now, I'll keep my fingers crossed that the election isn't marred by some stupid technical issue (hanging chads, anyone?), that the campaigns are not nasty and filthy (yeah, right, sure), and that the wisdom of the masses comes out of it.

And that's all I have to say for tonight.  The timer on the stove is beeping, time to pull the ribs out of the oven, slap the potato salad on the table, and dive in!

Take care, all...  Remember, whatever your political persuasion, it is your DUTY and OBLIGATION to REGISTER and to VOTE!!!!  YES, IT IS!!!

Peace out...

The Convention

Is anyone out there listening to/watching the Democratic Party Convention?  I'm catching bits and pieces, including a bit of the speech by Kathleen Sibelius (Governor of Kansas) and whats-his-name, the governor of Montana (sounded like a really good speech), and a bit of Hillary Clinton's speech.  As cynical as I am, I still feel goosebumps when I see these rituals of American democracy... I get WHIPPED UP!!!  I just love this stuff...  (Hey, I used to get all whipped up when I went to the California State Bar annual meetings... go figure...)  But some of the BS really gets up my nose; in particular, the horrible demeaning nasty partisan politics -- the twisting of the truth, the baseless jabs, the disinformation, all the usual crap -- just makes me so very sad.  Am I naive to believe that The People couldn't figure out which end is up just fine without all the BS?  People like Karl Rove (sorry, Karl) really get up my nose.  I think it's because I am, for the most part, a very direct, honest, no-BS person.  (The folks who worked with me for many years can attest to that.)  And, when I see this nonsense go on, I get riled up!  Just my five cents.

I got a lovely call today from one of my sip-n-sew buddies, making sure I am OK.  (I've been going through some personal tsuris lately that's gotten me pretty down...)  LK, there is no way I can tell you how much that meant to me.  Really.  Hope your road trip went well, my friend...

I also got some great emails from my BFF, back in Massachusetts, which made me laugh out loud.  God love that woman, she never fails to raise my spirits.  Have a wonderful time on the Vineyard this weekend, my dear -- enjoy the sun, the sand, the books, the boyfriend, the whole thing...  You deserve it!

Also, a great big shout-out to KL, one of my buddies from work...  Thanks for the comments!  I'm stoked to know that you've been reading my blog!!!  And it's nice to know that I'm missed.  Sniff...  And another shout-out to my former assistant, MJ, who was IM'ing me today...  thanks for worrying about me!

This morning, after the spousal unit left for work, I keeled over and fell asleep on the sofa for two hours...  Guilty pleasures...  Then, spent an hour or so, ironing his vast collection of Hawaiian shirts...  It just bugged me that the lapels and front edges and hems were all lumpy and wrinkled... Yep, obviously NOT ENOUGH TO DO!!!  Then did some more cleaning and straightening of the vast pile of crap I brought home from the office, went to the supermarket (great selection of trash novels there -- hooray!), got semi-organized in terms of piling up things we'll need to take on vacation with us (more than two days in advance, by the way), and just generally futzed around.  Oh, and made sure that the dead animal disposal people actually showed up and hauled away the remains of the dead deer in the creek behind our house.  It was lovely to be able to go out on my deck today, without having to hold my nose because of the stench.  (Sorry, I know, TMI...)  It's going to be quite hot around here the next few days, so this is a wonderful thing (i.e., no smell)...

This evening, the husband and I went out to have our "usual" drink-and-appetizer outing to The Elephant Bar (yes, it's only Tuesday and not Friday, which is when we usually go, but what the heck)...  Nice to be able to have a date night with your spouse.  The son was lurking around our house, probably hoping to be asked to join us, but we left him to his own devices for dinner.  He cooked something (I think it was a heavily modified matzoh brei, with red tomato and garlic spread mixed in it), but left damn near every dish in the house dirty in the process.  I do believe he's getting in touch with his creative side...  Before I had a chance to get him to clean up after himself, the latest quasi-girlfriend showed up, and poof! he's out the door, to go get ice cream, back in a bit mom, I love you, bye...  Like a whirlwind!!!  

Then, got a call from The Daughter, who has finally gotten a kitten.  Eight weeks old, grey, probably to be named Gracie.  She's been wanting a kitten for a while, and nothing I could say would sway her.  She's living by herself, in a nice one-bedroom flat, and swears she won't let the kitten destroy things.  Ha!  She obviously doesn't remember what the last kitten (now a cat) did when she was a young thing...  I remember her scooting right up the middle of the Christmas tree, ornaments flying every which way... She was awfully cute...  Still is...

Really, my life is just BORING...  But, you know what?  It's OK.  I was telling the husband tonight that, finally, I'm quite comfortable in my own skin.  I am not inclined to take crap from anyone any more, don't see or feel the need to subject myself to hanging out with people who make me irriated, dress the way I think suits me, say what I think and consequences be damned (of course, I'm always compassionate and sensitive), and just generally I'm firing on all cylinders (to use a phrase from my corporate past)...  It's like all the boundaries I used to put on myself have dropped away.  This is really kind of exciting!  Who knew that being 60 would be so much fun!  (Yeah, but I'm still not totally sure about that tattoo...)  (Now, a face lift -- maybe -- definitely -- perhaps...)

OK, I took GB's advice, and wrote something for today.  It's not great, but I think of this as a kind of discipline...  Like yoga, but without the bending and stretching...

Cheers!

Monday night...

... and all is well.  I just finished watching Michelle Obama give the keynote speech at the Democratic Convention, and was struck by how wonderfully she spoke -- I hate hate hate public speaking, but apparently do it well.  She made it look effortless.  I found it particularly impressive, given the weight of history that was on her shoulders.  Wow...  I'm sorry I wasn't watching it with my daughter, so we could have shared this very special moment.  As it was, I was watching it avidly, but with the spousal unit and the son both paying total attention to their respective computers, and not paying any attention at all to the TV (or to me or to each other, I might add).  Sheesh...  

I have been thinking big thoughts all day.  I have been ruminating on friendship, and how deep it can be and also how ephemeral it can be.  I got a wonderful email from my best friend -- from high school, and still there -- and it made me smile.  I had written to her about hearing a balalaika melody on "Prairie Home Companion", which was the same piece she and I would goof around to way back when...  That simple tune took me back more decades than I want to admit to.  I recall writing long letters to her, when we were apart during the Summer -- all handwritten, by the way, children -- and her wonderful letters back.  Now, we do emails, but the contents are still great.  I'm sure our offspring would just roll their eyes if they could read our emails, but that's just fine with me.  We missed many years, when we were both busy raising our families -- although we were both transplanted New Yorkers, living on the West Coast -- but now we're back in contact.  We're still trying to figure out what we're going to be when we grow up...  I treasure her beyond all measure, and give thanks to the Great Being that we still have each other.  I'm also more than a little bummed at the lack of contact with any of the buddies I worked with at The Company...  I know, in my rational mind, that life there goes on without a hiccup, and aside from an occasional fond memory (perhaps), the hole resulting from my departure has been filled quite quickly.  Sad, though...  Almost 17 years, and I would have hoped for some more outreach.  But, I guess it's up to me to instigate the continued contact, if I want it.  I have my sewing ladies (the sip-n-sew bunch), and I treasure them, as well.  I've tried their patience over the past months, and they've been more than generous with their time, their listening, their advice, and their offers of support.  All very much appreciated, and I want them to know it...

The husband and I also went and hit tennis balls this afternoon, and I didn't do at all badly.  I'm getting better at controlling the ball (not that you'd know it by looking at my performance on the court), and know enough to know when I'm not doing it right, which is infinitely more frustrating.  Then, we went to Peet's, and indulged in our new favorite drink: the Jasmine Lime Iced Tea Cooler (or words to that effect)... major yum!  I am really enjoying having the time to pay attention to The Husband -- he got sorely short-changed for many years, when I was working like a maniac.  And, I've paid the price -- we've both paid the price -- for that.  We're working on being there for each other, and trying to make up for the lost years.  Lots of scar tissue there, but we're working on it.

I cooked some splendiferous spaghetti for dinner -- chopped onion and garlic, sauteed it in a tiny bit of olive oil, and then dumped in bottled sauce -- I can't seem to just leave things alone... Great garlic bread, and some nice white wine (can't drink the red stuff any more -- terrible allergic reactions), and there you go...  A lovely dinner...  Now, I'm on the sofa, writing this post, the husband has finished looking at eBay (there MUST be something there we need desperately) and is doing some work-work, and he's rubbing my feet somewhat absent-mindedly...  A cozy domestic scene...

I must say, I'm starting to enjoy this "holiday" from work (i.e., office work)...  I am thinking of this time as the two sabbaticals I didn't get, as management got rid of that benefit during The Times of the Troubles (all hands on deck, blah blah blah)...  I figure that's 12 weeks I'm owed... ha!  That ought to take me through the end of the calendar year, and then we'll figure out what's next...  I know I'm busy all day, but at bedtime, I'll be darned if I can list more than two or three things I got done...  What's up with that?  Reminds me of when I was on maternity leave with both of my kids...  I'd still be in my jammies at 9PM, staggering around, wondering what the heck hit me all day...  

OK, enough of this babbling...  Time to read a bit of the latest "Cooking Light" magazine, and then off to bed...

Cheers!

Loudon Wainright redux

Things on Sunday morning often appear a bit out of kilter, for no apparent reason.  DH and I woke up early, about 6:15, but after some consideration of alternatives, rolled over and went back to sleep, and finally hauled our sorry selves out of bed about 10:00AM.  Bad idea.  Now, we're both groggy and fighting incipient headaches.  We are both plagued by headaches, often due to stress (!), too much wine (!!), climate changes, pollutants (e.g., dust from sweeping driveway or cleaning), or whatever...  This morning, we think it could be because of bad odors due to a deceased deer which is in the creek behind our house.  Yukkk.  And it's not a baby deer (often the case, unfortunately -- they play too hard and fall off one of the ledges in the creek bed), but a full-size one.  And it's not a pretty sight, let me tell you.  We've called the outfit that's charged with removing dead animals from our city (no longer done by the government), but haven't gotten a response yet.  Nothing like a little "circle of life" event to put a pall on your Sunday morning.  

Oh, and the Loudon Wainright reference?  As I recall, it was he who had a song, way back when (in the 1970s?), "Dead Dog in the Middle of the Road"...  Somehow, that just came to me when we figured out we had a dead deer in the middle of the creek...  I really think that if I ever do descend into age-related dementia, it won't be all that noticeable, given the way my mind works already...

UPDATE (8/26/08):  LC, one of the sip-n-sew ladies, has thoughtfully corrected my reference to the song; the song was "Dead Skunk (in the Middle of the Road)", c. 1972, performed by Loudon Wainwright III.  Hey, I knew it was about some darn dead animal.  Oh, and this morning, the carcass of the deer finally got hauled away.  The county has outsourced animal control activities to a local tallow company (yes, you heard right -- tallow).  I called them last week, the driver came out, stared into the creek, but didn't find the remains.  My husband finally did, and after a multitude of calls, the driver came out again yesterday, inspected the scene, and asked me if I had a garbage can so he could haul the remains up the creekside, through my property, up the driveway, and to his truck.  Heck no, I did not have a garbage can for that job!  So, this morning, he came back with his own damn garbage can, and accomplished the task.  Phew!  With any luck, tonight we can open all the windows on the creek-facing side of the house (the smell has kind of forbidden that for the past few days).  And, that's a lucky thing, as the weather is supposed to be hideously hot (well, hot for us) the next few days -- probably close to 100 degrees in the heat of the day.  Fortunately, our house is right next to the creek, and there's lots of trees, so the nights are nice.  And we have lots of fans in the house, so it's quite pleasant by bedtime...  However, after two or three days of intense heat, it's almost impossible for the house to get truly cool.  I know -- whine, whine, whine...  It's still a darn sight better than the cement jungles of New York City, where I grew up, and where it NEVER cooled off at night during the Summer...

The Dear Son has been camping out at our house the past few days, and just appeared -- awake before noontime!  For sure, the planets are out of alignment!  He's actually talking and in a good mood -- usually he just grunts until 1:00PM...  Hmmm...  He's betwixt and between on life right now; working on getting into the Navy, which will take a few months, as he has some personal affairs to clean up.  I'm very torn about this -- on the one hand, both his father and I think it will be very good for him, in terms of imposing some order and discipline in his life, which he sorely needs, but on the other hand, I worry about him being sent into harm's way.  He's still my first-born, and he'll always be my baby.  Even at 6' and 24 years old...  Isn't that just like a mother?  But, he's committed to doing this, so I will support him.

I really need to go and finish sorting out the various boxes and papers littering the dining room and the living room, with all the office-related stuff in it...  Really...  But, I hate hate hate doing that.  I'd rather vacuum the house than do anything approaching filing.  (It was the same, years ago, when I was a secretary... not a stellar part of my work life...)  

Actually, now that I think about it, I wish I were in Hawaii right now...  I love to go there -- it's one of the few places in the world where I feel totally relaxed, and at peace...  So, as a memento, here's a photo I took on one of our trips...  Early one morning, when the sun was not burning down...  Ahhhh... 

Maybe I'll even get some sewing done today; that gets my creative juices flowing.  I've got some new patterns that I'm anxious to try out, but need to do some pre-work.  Measuring my body, comparing the measurements to the flat patterns, making alternations, consulting online references to see what others who have sewn the pattern(s) say about it...  This can take hours and hours, and I just love it.  I found my portable radio, set it up in the dining room, have all my sewing impedimentia strewn about, and all is good...  

Sorry for the rambling, but there you go...  I wish all of you a very good day, wherever you are.

Cheers!

So Not in the Zone This Morning

OK, I showed up for tennis, and dutifully tried my best but boy oh boy was I so NOT in the zone today...  The pros make it look so effortless, but I am such a doof some days...  Now that I know what I'm doing wrong, it's so much more frustrating.  However, today, I'm blaming it on my bum shoulder and being distracted by personal issues.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  The assistant to the teacher told me to go home and practice tossing the ball in the air so it goes where it's supposed to go (to aid in my serve).  Jeez, I'm a geezerette -- come on!  But, I'll keep trying.  

Today, we're looking at just running errands and preparing for an upcoming trip.  I look at the mountain-o-crap all over my house, and despair of ever making a dent.  When I left The Company, I hauled all sorts of stuff home -- the detritus of 17 years there.  Boy, there was a lot of it.  I'm trying (ha!) to sort through it, rather than just hurling it in the corners of the junk room, in a vain effort to ensure I don't have to do it again later.  I also started attempting to make a dent in the heap-o-crap in my sewing room, which is also a daunting task.  Starting to catalog the many many sewing patterns I have lying about, which is a start... Then, sort through the fabric... then, the notions...  Then, I'll be 80 years old... ha!

OK, off to run errands...  More to come later, perhaps.

Cheers!

Friday morning... aacckkk

So, why in the world am I getting up so darn early every morning if I don't need to be at the office?  Habit?  Solidarity with the husband?  Because I like seeing the morning sky?  Catching the early shows on BBC America?  Hmmm...  Perhaps it's the vain hope of actually getting things done.  The odd thing about not working (i.e., working at a "regular" job outside the home) is that, at the end of the day, I know I've been busy, but I really can't point to more than one or two actual items that I've accomplished.  (And this is NOT a swipe at folks who work at home or who are retired or whatever, this is just me...)  I think this is kind of what happened when I took time off for the birth of both of my kids.  Of course, then, I was dog-tired and dealing with a squalling, eternally-hungry, usually wet little human being who didn't seem to give a rap about its mother's needs...  I think, perhaps, I'm just now catching up on all the sleep and rest I've needed, but haven't gotten, for the past many years.  I must admit I love watching some of the morning TV shows...  Particularly the cooking and home repair/renovation ones...  Pure pap for the mind...  I may go back to bed for a bit, and curl up with the latest "Oprah" magazine and yet another cup of tea.  The son is camping out here for a few days, and is trying talk me into going up to San Francisco with him for the day, to run some errands (his, not mine), and no doubt to spend money on him.  Ha!!!

More to come.  (Yes, this is all just rambling, but I got some advice when I started this blog, that I should post every day, no matter what.)  (So, blame the advice-giver for this one...)

Cheers!

Random Items

Yeah, so, I ate way too much pizza for lunch, and I can't think straight... Yep, that's my story... Got together with some of the folks from The Company, including one of us who had left months ago... Both she and I apparently look very relaxed, according to the colleagues who are still laboring in the vineyard...  I suppose I am more relaxed than I was, simply because I'm not running around in circles, trying to cram 20 hours of work and chores and household/family things into 10 hours...  Hmmmm...  I think, frankly, my body and my mind thinks I'm just on vacation, and haven't really grasped, yet, the fact that I won't be going back to the office in a few days...

However, I am getting back to thinking that I actually have some time -- finally -- to sew.  I've been fondling fabric and patterns, thinking about what to sew first.  As noted in an earlier post, I do have some Hawaiian print-type fabrics, to sew up some goodies for our trip to Maui next March.  (See the photos...)  I really do love the flamingo print... very subtle, no?  No, you're right, it's not.  But that's OK.

I really enjoy sewing.  I enjoy all parts of the process, whether it's for apparel or for household projects like quilts, napkins, whatever.  I like thinking up projects, choosing patterns (or inspirations), thinking about the "feel" of the finished item, searching for fabric, fondling the fabric, washing or otherwise preparing the fabric, cutting out the piece (which, I must admit, is my least favorite part) (always has been), and then doing the actual sewing and construction.  I am a very precise and careful sewer, having learned some hard lessons along the way about the virtues of organization of one's tools and supplies, and of reading the directions FIRST (yeah, really)... and then, if it makes sense, deviating from them, or tossing them out totally.  And, a cardinal rule: never, ever cut when you're tired (i.e., if it's after 9PM -- that's my witching hour) or have had a glass or three of wine; likewise, do not use your serger at those times.  You can always un-sew but I have never, ever been able to un-cut...  Ask me how I came to this rule...  

I also have bought some lovely linen and other fabric pieces lately, for various semi-work type garments, and am looking forward to diving into those projects.  I really do need to dragoon one of my sewing buddies to help me with updated measurements, as my body is lurching all over the place in terms of where my weight wants to be, and the alarmingly changeable contours of my midriff!

And, while I was up in Oregon last week, hanging out with the daughter, I bought a few paperback books that looked interesting.  I haven't had any sustained trash-novel-reading time in forever, and I think I should take advantage of this down time to relax and get into reading again.  We did cancel our subscription to the Sunday edition of The New York Times (grumble grumble), as a cost-cutting measure (yeah, I know we needed to do it), but luckily our local paper carries the NYT Sunday crossword puzzle one week later, so I can get my puzzle fix.  I love to do the Sunday puzzle.  I blame this on my mother, who would do it in pen.  Blast her! I'm good but I'm not that good...

Went and hit the tennis ball with DH earlier today.  We were both "in the zone" -- the balls hit the sweet spot on the racquet, most of them went where they should have gone, and all was good.  It can be a very zen activity, I think.  And to think I was so against it for so many years... Oh, well, I guess I wasn't ready, mentally, to get engaged.  (Skiing?  Maybe...  I'm still not sure of any sport that involves me going down snow-covered hills at great speeds...)  

Well, time to go and deal with dinner.  Some steaks are on the little barbeque on the deck, the corn on the cob is ready to go into the water, the apple turnovers are ready to be baked, and I've got a very nice chilled white wine here at my elbow, helping me slide into the lovely cool evening...  I love California...

Cheers!

Feet? Really?

So, it was mentioned to me by my son that I seem to have an "issue" with taking photos of my feet.  I say, so?  What is it to you?  Are you bothered by the fact that I seem to LIKE taking photos of my funny little feet?  What????

This first photo is me (well, OK, my feet), taken in Bali, about three years ago.  

I was extraordinarily proud of the pedi I had (got it in Hawaii a few weeks prior to the Bali trip)...  

It was holding up very well...  

This was a wonderful resort on Bali (can't 

remember which one -- like, maybe a Marriott 

or a Hyatt or some such thing) (but it was one 

which hadn't been "updated" much, and it was lovely)...

Then, I could not resist taking a photo of my feet at Pebble Beach this past weekend...  OK, so it's a bit of a fixation on my feet.  What's wrong with that???  Thank goodness it's not some other body part...

I had dinner with two of the other sip-n-sew ladies tonight (Tuesday night), and we decided that blogging is fun, but that I'm using it to take the place of the multitude of emails I would send, and get, during a normal day when I was working full-time at The Company.  I do miss all my colleagues there, but I do NOT miss the BS and the politics and the stress which accompanied my every move the past few months of my tenure there...  (Hey, it's like down-shifting from 65 to 30...)

Sigh...  But, life is good, the weather is fine, my kids are in good shape, I've got my health, and the girls are still fairly perky (given the fact that I've seen 60 come and go)...  Yeah, I know, TMI...  Work with me here!!!!

OK, tomorrow is Wednesday.  Lunch for me at a local pizzeria with the gang from work -- I miss them -- then just futzing around, continuing to clean up the house.  Who knew I had so much crap to go through???

Hope all is well with each and every one of you...

Pebble Beach

This past Sunday, the spousal unit and I went down to Pebble Beach, to attend the annual Concours d'Elegance.  Very upscale event -- it's my third time.  Lovely, beautiful motor vehicles, lots and lots of people with more money than should be allowed, as well as all kinds of folk, and all on the green(s) at the Pebble Beach Resort.  (One of my favorite places, although goodness knows I could not afford to stay there if I were paying out of my own pocket.)

I think one of the best things to do there is people-watch.  As noted, above, there are lots and lots of folk with lots and lots of money (trust me, I know), as well as lots of ordinary folk.  The dress ranges from full-out cocktail attire (a tad disconcerting at 10:00AM), to nice clothes, to jeans, to costume (to go with the vintage of one's car, normally), to lots and lots of faboo hats, to goodness only knows what.

This year, one of my favorite sightings was this very dashing and dapper gentleman, done up like an Edwardian dandy, in wonderful morning dress.  I couldn't resist -- I snatched up my trusty Sony Cyber-Shot camera, and started snapping away.  I figure if someone shows up in public dressed like this, he/she is probably hoping someone will take his/her photo anyway.  I really should Photoshop out the chain, but for now it will do.  This fellow walked back and forth, and put on a very good show.  I am hereby conveying my thanks to him for giving a bit of panache to the event.

I really should have taken photos of some of the women, but frankly none of them matched him for sheer presentation...

Oh, and it was cloudy and nippy all day.  The sun never did come out, although both the husband and I walked away with very red faces -- even with the liberal application of sunscreen to which we treated ourselves...  I've simply got to remember that, even with the haze, the sun is there...

Just had to share this...

Cheers!

Tennis anyone?

So, as the intro to this blog promises, it's all about things I've done "after"...  One of the things I've done is "take up" tennis.  For years, I sneered and said that if G*d had meant me to run around in the sun, chasing fuzzy green spheres, (s)he would have made me tall and blonde and Australian.  (Don't know why I chose that list of attributes, but it made sense at the time.)  Anyway, as they said in one of those James Bond films, never say never...  My husband has been batting around the tennis ball for many years, and I started going to the local sports center about six months ago, and swatting the tennis ball there (the ball machine is a great invention), and I decided that this was pretty fun.  So, I signed up for group tennis lessons (adult, beginner level).  Our instructor is from somewhere in South America, and he's wonderful.  Very patient.  He says that we're not horrible.  The group is a wonderful Silicon Valley mix -- Indians, Chinese, Caucasians, all mixed in...  Some are good, some are not so good (that would be me), but we're all terribly enthusiastic.  It's a hoot.  I'm now on my third round of lessons, and it's not too bad.  I'm having a lot of fun, aside from the fact that the classes are at 8:00AM on Saturday mornings!  (That's basically against my religion to get up that early on weekends, but what are you going to do?)  

Anyway, I decided that, in my 60s, this "retirement" thing would definitely NOT involve me sitting on my keester.  I recall seeing a photo that my mom had taken, of her and my dad, and it was titled "x and x [don't want to use their real names -- privacy issues, you know], in retirement." [Emphasis mine...]  I have to tell you, that phrase, "in retirement", made my blood run cold.  Sounded vaguely like being put out to pasture, or going into seclusion, or some bloody darn thing.  Yuk.  I guess that us Baby Boomers really are re-defining what a particular age means.  (You know, like 40 is the new 30, and 50 is the new 40, and g*d only knows what 60 is now...)  Frankly, every time I look in the mirror, I'm astonished to see this person staring back at me, who's a dead ringer for my grandmother!  Yikes!  I loved her to death, but she was ancient!!!!  WTF????  I REALLY need to book that face-lift, truly...

So, I have this list of things I want to accomplish in this "life after" phase of my life; as follows:

1.  Sport (tennis; see above); in process.  

2.  Personal challenge -- scuba; in process.  (Due to a stupid practical joke pulled on me by my brain-dead cousins when I was about 10 or so -- throwing me out of a rowboat in the middle of a lake, when I could not swim, and I damn near died -- I have a deep-seated fear of the water.)  On our last trip to Hawaii, in February, I did jump off a dive boat, with snorkel gear on, and put my pasty white body into the Pacific Ocean.  (OK, I had enormous amounts of flotation gear on my body for most of the time, but I did it...)  I felt so macho about the whole thing, I decided that I would get myself certified for scuba.  (I mean, there are idiots all over the place who've done it, so why not me?)  

3.  Tattoo; not sure about that, but I'm thinking maybe yes.  Where? Somewhere it won't show with ordinary business clothes.  What?  Perhaps "Tai-Tai" (in Chinese characters), or a Hawaiian flower...  Must consult with The Princess (my daughter), who knows what's what with regard to tattoos.

4.  A little bit of "work" on the face.  Hmmm...  That comment is sure to cause an uproar among the ladies -- some think it's a total betrayal of what we marched for in the 60s, some think it's just fine.  I'm not talking a Joan Rivers botox episode, just something tasteful.  Still brooding on that.

5.  Getting the bod in better shape.  I'm trying.  (See tennis, above.)

6.  What else?  Definitely maybe no hot Latin lover.  I'm pretty content with the husband, thank you very much.  

7.  Reading those books I always swore I'd read, but never got around to.  Like, "War and Peace", or the works of Jane Austen, or whatever the heck that huge honkin' work by Proust is called.  Or, on the other hand, I could just continue to work my way through every trash novel ever written.  :-)

8.  Cleaning out my sewing room.  That ought to take a decade.  It looks like a bomb went off in there.  

What else?  Who knows.  Maybe get another doggie, although the cat (we call her Special Needs Kitty) would f'ing freak out.  (We "interviewed" a potential dog pet last week, and the cat disappeared for two days, and that was just seeing the dog through a glass door!)

Other than that, it's all a work in progress.  More to come.  I'm a very lucky lady, and am offering up prayers of thanks every day.  Even on the really really bad days.  And there have been a few of those, lord knows...

I am held up by the good thoughts of my friends, knowing that I am surrounded by people that love me.  Thank god.

Cheers!

Success!!!

Dear readers...  Success (with the Internet)...  Charles from the phone company was here this morning, and figured out the issue pretty quickly, and presto-changeo, it's resolved.  (Much IT nonsense, but it's done.)  I am so relieved.  Of course, all the coffee houses in the area will now suffer a dramatic decrease in their revenue (since I won't be hanging out there, ordering lattes and iced tea blend drinks so I can use their free WiFi), but that's all to the good.  I felt at sea... ridiculous, I know, but in this age of 24x7 access, it's the way it is.

OK, running out now to grab lunch, but will be back with more meandering thoughts later.

Cheers!

Monty Python

So, what is with this poster and her odd post titles?  I guess I just need to have a title.  Things are still the same -- NO internet access (for reasons that are totally beyond me) (the phone company says they can ping our box but we have no access), and personal life still in turmoil.  I am getting through it, breath by breath.  The link to Monty Python is from one of their routines, where someone keeps saying "I'm not dead yet"...  Grim humor for trying times...  Keep those positive good thoughts coming.  

Offline for a bit...

Sorry for not posting for a while.  Still no Internet access at home (as of mid-day on Monday).  And, for the next few days, I'll probably be radio-silent, due to some personal life upheavals.  Too too sad to talk about.  I'll get through it, but good thoughts sent my way would be greatly appreciated.

Saturday Night and I'm Feeling Fine

Sorry for not posting since Wednesday.  The Internet access is still out at home, but the fine folks at The Phone Company (you know which one I mean . . . the one that allegedly got broken up some years ago but which is now, due to mergers and consolidations and who-knows-what, back as Ma XXX) assure me that, on Tuesday of next week, the magic switch will be flipped in the basement of the black cube building somewhere in Middle Earth (at some point between 8AM and 8PM), and we'll have Internet access again.  Please note that all I wanted to do was get the billing switched from a company account to me personally.  No equipment.  No installation visit.  No nothing.  Just a billing change.  One week.  I kid you not.  

The sad thing is that DH and I felt . . . isolated, trapped, stranded, cut off . . . without our Internet access!  Yikes!  That was definitely not a pleasant realization for us.  But, after contemplating that state of affairs for a few moments, we did what any SiliValley folks would do -- yep, took ourselves out to the nearest free WiFi site (tonight, it's Peet's), where we can log on and once again get in touch with the Collective... er, cyberspace...  (So, do we feel like part of the Borg?  Just a teensy bit...)

Yesterday, we took The Daughter and The Boyfriend down to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. DH and I had not been there since the kids were in middle school (and we were field trip parents). I recall it being wonderful, but it was truly spectacular!  The drive down was fine, very little traffic (took a little over an hour), and we hit the front door of the Acquarium at 10AM.  And thank goodness we did... The place got way crowded later on; when we left, at about 2PM, there was quite a line of folks, waiting to get in.  The displays were fabulous, the amount of information absolutely wonderful, the overall quality just the highest.  There are a couple of large glass walls in a couple of the areas, and you feel like you are in the ocean.  (Given my intense fear of water -- someday I'll talk about me and the scuba issue -- it's as close as you can get without getting wet.)

I think my favorite part of all was the various displays of jellyfish.  

They are unearthly creatures...  floating in a dream of their own...  

And there were so many different kinds!  

Here's one that I particularly liked... 

And there were strange things, 

like this egg pod... 

(See the flower-like thing

 at the right...)

  And, of course, gorgeous tropical fish...  

(All these photos were taken using my little Sony Cyber-shot camera -- literally, I set the thing to "auto" and just started clicking away... I love this camera!)

Lots of walking, but well worth it.  At about $25 per person, it's not cheap but you definitely get your money's worth.  The place was packed.  Lots of non-US folks there, which made me feel good.  I love it when people from all over the world see some of the best the US has to offer.

And, as to other adventures, it's been great having The Daughter here.  We miss her terribly. Today, we all went up to Alice's Restaurant (at the end of a long, winding mountain road) (DH took The Boyfriend in the Screaming Yellow race car, DD and I drove -- a lot more sedately -- in the Saab sedan), for a nice lunch.  The SF Bay Area was at its best today -- the views of the Valley were pristine, the air was clear, the temperature was moderate, and all was well with the world.  Except for a fatal motorcycle accident along the road -- very sad...  Someone lost it going around a curve, and went over the side, into a nasty fall.  The road drops off sharply, with anywhere from 3o to 100 feet straight down over the side.  It sobered everyone on the road...  

Other than that, I'm just still drifting along (like those jellyfish)...  Thinking random thoughts of sewing, cleaning, cooking...  reading trash novels!  Many of the things I simply haven't had time to do for the past few years...  I am feeling just the teensiest twinge of guilt, occasionally, but I'm fighting each and every one of those urges down...

Well, that's it from here.  Tomorrow, I'm off to an all-day sewing workshop, then on Monday, DD and I are hitting the stores for a bit of competitive shopping, and who knows what else.

Cheers!

Rien

No, really, rien...  Well, almost...  I'm really starting to like having the time to futz around and get "stuff" done.  Started the day by waking up The Princess (aka DD) at 7:30AM...  OK, trying to wake her up... Finally accomplished that at 8:00AM-ish.  DD, TB (The Boyfriend) and I then went and got her car towed to the local Saab dealership.  (Her 1996 Saab lost its serpentine belt just as she hit Cupertino, on her drive down from Eugene.)  Good news/bad news...  Too bad it happened, but thank goodness it happened when she was so close to home.  We had time to munch on goodies from S*bucks and sip our coffee, while cooling our heels waiting for the tow truck.  Beautiful morning, ahhh...  Slight breeze, blue skies, birds darting about, beautiful plantings in the shopping center parking lot where her car came to rest...

Got car checked in at dealership (where they have the Dreaded Pink Box of Death -- i.e., donuts -- in the waiting area), then back home.  Still going through the detritus of my work, sorting, ditching, reading...  Argued a bit with DS (aka Lurch), who slept at our house last night.  Fully clothed, of course (including shoes), curled up on the sofa in the family room, under one thin blanket.  He awoke with a backache, headache, and complaints of why I hadn't yet cooked breakfast.  (Insert laugh track here...)  

More futzing around, then lady came to scope out the kitchen.  After whining about it for 18 years or so, we are going to bite the bullet and get the kitchen gussied up.  One of my pals from work spoke highly of this lady, so I thought I'd give her a try.  We'll see what she comes up with.  I'm game for darn near anything at this point.  The kitchen is done in 1970s best -- blecch.  The layout of the work areas isn't optimal, the lighting is dismal, and the storage is inadequate.  Other than that, it's fine.  :-)

And, the repair man came to fix our clothes dryer.  I had no idea how attached I am to the suburban creature comforts...  It's absolutely depressing...  But, about $200 later, the dryer works again.  Jeez.  Then, drove DS to the train station; he was on his way to San Francisco to meet up with some friends, hit the thrift stores, and other than that, I didn't ask...

Back home, to get dinner ready.  I cooked a fairly spectacular pasta dish -- penne, with a great sauce I picked up from "Lidia's Italian Cooking" (thank you, Lidia!) with some tweaks.  Coarsely chop one onion, smash a bunch of garlic cloves (or mince, if that's what appeals to you), throw both in some olive oil in a skillet, cook until you are happy with the texture and aroma; add a can of diced tomatoes, a small can of tomato sauce, pepper (freshly ground), about 2 teaspoons of Grey Poupon mustard, and wine (if you have it).  Stir, bring to a brisk bubble, let it cook a bit, then turn off the heat and let it sit for about 5-10 minutes.  Toss with your pasta, slap that puppy on the table with some garlic bread, a salad, and yet more wine, and presto!  A really good dinner.  (Well, IMHO anyway.)  The thing about cooking like that is, the dish comes out a tad different each time.  Tonight's was really good.  (Some nights, not so much... that's when everyone whines...)

We're now at the local indie coffeehouse, again, as the Internet is still dead at our house.  We all came -- spouse, daughter, The Boyfriend and me.  The place is packed!  It's a great community gathering place -- very diverse bunch.  Cupertino is about 60% Asian at this point, I believe, but there are all kinds of folks here tonight.  It's really nice to see this.  All ages, various ethnicities, students, non-students, lurkers, entrepreneurs, whatever... And no deafening music on the stereo tonight (relatively calm baristas on duty, thank goodness)...  I'm sipping mint tea (too late for caffeine), and contemplating as I type this post.

I've been getting emails from various folks who still work at The Company, and they all ask -- how's retirement?  How the heck should I know -- it's only been five business days!  But, at this point, I think I can say that I really miss the companionship of my buddies, but I do not miss the stress and the politics and the general BS.  I did feel, at one point today, that a 50-pound weight has been lifted off my chest.  Do I feel a momentary pang of guilt admitting that?  Yep, but I'll get over it.  It's now incumbent on me to keep the relationships that matter to me, and let go of the rest.  I do think, however, that I'll be looking for another position in a couple of months, simply to keep my edge.  And, DH is thinking that, due to the slowdown in the chip industry, he might be (once again) a candidate for a layoff at his place.  Well, that would be a pain, since it's his benefits that are currently covering us, but we'd manage, I suppose.  I do really believe that it all works out the way it's supposed to, in the long run.

On that note, I'll sign off.  I need to cruise the Web, check in on the various sewing blogs that I love, and see what gossip is out there...  Really, I am just not into much more than that tonight. 

More tomorrow...  Cheers!

WTF? Where is my Internet?

So, all was well this morning... I was surfing the 'Net, reading a blog that the New York Times had (has?) going, about things New Yorkers miss about the "old" New York (i.e., whenever it was that the person posting first experienced/grew up in New York).   There were things in the 500+ comments that threw me back through time and space, to my growing-up years on the streets of New York.  Magical times.

Anyway, so all was well, and then . . . poof!  No bloody Internet!  Not sure what has happened, but we are dead in the water.  (Thank goodness for my iPhone -- can still check emails and sort of do the 'Net... although the AT&T Edge network is sloooowwww as molasses...)  Have an inquiry out to the tech gods, hopefully will know more tomorrow.  But, in order to do this post, DH and I have decamped to the local indie coffeehouse, which is awash in 20-somethings, all dressed in black, either talking on their cellphones or hooked into their iPods, and all -- and I mean all -- looking terribly intense.  Lots of laptops in evidence.  The heart of SiliValley right here.  (Thanks to the junior college across the road, everyone is VERY serious -- studying away...)  Haven't seen this many piercings in I don't know when.  (Normally, when DH and I are here, it's too early in the morning for the young things to be out and about; we're usually here with the senior crowd... oh, and the runners... who wear teensy-eensy-weeny running shorts... not a pretty sight, with their pale pale pale legs... incredibly off-putting on a Sunday morning.)

Anyhoo, DD and The Boyfriend arrived late this afternoon.  Unfortunately, DD's car (one of the many ancient Saab cars we've owned over the years) broke down just as she hit town.  Lucky for her!  We think it's the serpentine belt that blew its guts...  There are "things" hanging down from the front underside of her car (never a good sign).  So, we'll get it towed to the dealer tomorrow morning, and kiss about $1,000 goodbye as we get it fixed.  Bloody hell.  It is good to see her -- I cannot believe my baby girl is 21 and has a serious boyfriend!  What happened to my little girl?  I am so proud of her.  She's got a heart as big as creation, and is loving and gracious.  

DS also appeared at our house this afternoon, after a multi-day sojourn (or, as he called it, a "vacation") in Nevada with his BFF, doing who knows what.  (Why someone who isn't working at all needs a vacation is beyond me, but there you go...)  He went to dinner with us, and dispensed his wisdom as only he can do.  (Honestly, between you and me, I truly enjoy DS... his emotional wisdom is incredible, he's empathetic, loving, and spectacularly insightful... and, often, a real pain in the katookie.)  He'll be sleeping at our house tonight, no doubt.  Right now, he's over at tonight's City Council meeting, where they're discussing an application for redevelopment of one of our local shopping centers -- in fact, the center where we're sitting right now... some craven developer wants to blast this place to perdition and put in condos, a hotel (why???) and something described as a "convention center" building.  Local politics -- gotta love it.  This center was wonderful when we first moved here, about 18 years ago.  But, for a number of reasons that aren't totally clear, it's been run into the ground.  I am NOT a conspiracy theorist, but it seems to me that there are certain local entrenched interests that would just love to build new bright shiny things, even though it's the last thing this city needs (IMHO)...  I sent off a flame-o-gram to the City Council with my objections, for what it's worth.

Well, DH is giving me The Look (i.e., wrap it up, babe, we need to go), so I'll say au revoir.  If the Internet is accessible tomorrow, I'll post again.  Or not.

Jeez, I love this blogging stuff.

Cheers!

Monday, Monday

And it's been a very nice one, too, thank you very much.  I took a long walk this morning, up to the S*bucks where I have stopped every morning on my way to work for the past year or so.  It took me about half an hour to get there, which was fine with me.  One of the many things I promised myself that I would do, once I was no longer working, was take a "power walk" each morning.  The treat would be a grande nonfat latte at good old S*bucks.  (Of course, there's the long walk back, but I detest dwelling on unpleasant details...)  I just could not get it together to do the walk on Thursday or Friday last week (the first two days of my Life After The Job), so really I was forced to do it today... if only to maintain any shred of self-respect.  (Those last 10 minutes of the walk outbound, I was seriously thinking about taking the bus back home, but I didn't.)  

The morning was gorgeous -- a tad cool (enough for a lightweight hoodie) but bright.  Once again, I thanked my lucky stars that I live in California, and in a very temperate part of California at that.  The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, and there wasn't much traffic so I wasn't wheezing and hacking in the fumes.  There is a relatively new house not too far from mine, and it is possibly the ugliest house I've seen in years.  However, the folks who have moved in have planted an enormous variety of roses, and have all kinds of other flowers and plants rioting around in their front yard.  It is just a lovely sight, and smells fabulous!  

After that exertion, I was exhausted when I got home.  But I was feeling tremendously virtuous.  Enough so that I totally scarfed down an apple "pie" (one of those faux fried-pie things) -- I meant to leave it at the Berkeley house for DS, but it mysteriously leaped into the take-home bag, and I was forced to eat it.  I am ashamed of myself.  I will not buy any more.  I will not buy any more.  (I really don't want to promise not to buy a small pack of the deadly white donettes; you know, the ones with the powdered sugar on them... yum...)

However, I pulled myself together enough to stagger into the bathroom, where I started playing with the skin care products I bought in Beijing a couple of weeks ago, when I was there on my last business trip with The Company.  On my last day, I went wandering down a pedestrian shopping mall area, a few blocks from my hotel, and I was drawn into a store purportedly offering genuine licensed Olympics doodads.  Needing to buy something for DH, I went inside.  (Plus, it was air-conditioned and it was beastly hot outside...)  After purchasing a very lovely red official Olympics mug, I was on my way out, when I was nabbed by a salesgirl who looked about 12 years old, and she started rubbing something on my hand.  I was intrigued, because it looked like it was taking off the top layer of skin cells...  First mistake.  I should have kept walking.  Long story short, she and her buddies ended up having a wonderful time with my aging white skin, slapping lotions and masques and eye-bag-rid stick-ons...  I think I amused them no end.  Unfortunately, I ended up spending waaaayyyy too much money (I will forbear from telling you how much), and sobered up later, with all this wonderful face goo in my bag.  With full instructions.  All in Chinese.  Which I don't speak.  (Gotta love it...)  Luckily, there is a diagram in the fold-out instructions, that shows in pictures what product goes on in what order.  Phew!  I must say, though, that my face really does feel lovely -- soft and not dried out...  Eye bags not too much in evidence (but dark circles and saggy bits still there)...

Afterwards, errands all afternoon.  DD and The Boyfriend are due here tomorrow (Tuesday) late afternoon.  I was forced to actually clean off the sofa (the one with the fold-out bed) (for TB) -- shocking!  The detritus of my years at The Company is strewn from one end of the house to the other -- cartons of "stuff", folders of "stuff", and (for reasons I'm not totally clear on) a silver bowl filled to the brim with paper clips.  (Incipient bag-lady tendencies, I'm afraid.)

Now, DH and I are ensconced on the family room sofa, watching "Top Gear" on BBC America (one of our latest faves), and struggling to stay awake.  I did drag DH out for a brief walk after dinner, so we could check on the progress of a couple of mega-house construction sites in the neighborhood.  We just shake our heads at the McMansions that are going in.  Sigh...

I really do have to get it together and accomplish something MEANINGFUL tomorrow.  Perhaps I shall finally finish cleaning off the dining room table.  And re-read the latest issue of Burda WOF (World of Fashion) magazine that arrived today...  

OK, that's it for today.  Not terribly exciting, but then again, I was told by a blogosphere maven that, regardless of what's going on, I should practice posting every day...  So, blame him.

Cheers!

Louis XVI and Me

What in the world has gotten into me today?  And what, pray tell, does Louis XVI (in my mind, often known as "Louis the Dull") (although that is rather snarky on my part, I suppose) have to do with anything?  Well, these things just come to me... There is a story (perhaps apocryphal) that, on the day that the Bastille was stormed, Louis wrote one word in his diary for that day: "Rien" (as in, "nothing" -- nothing happened of note)...  Ha!  So, my entry for today might be "rien"...  Hopefully, no one is off doing something that will, sooner rather than later, result in my losing my head (literally or figuratively).

DH and I had a good -- if lazy (well, lazy for me) -- day.  Woke up at a reasonable hour, lounged about eating breakfast, watched the "Sunday Morning" show (thank you j***s for technology that lets you tape shows that are on at flipping dawn so you can watch them at a civilized hour), went to S*bucks for coffee (rather than our usual indie coffee joint), came back home and stared at the clothes dryer (which is apparently possessed by poltergeists and being obdurate), then packed up the Gas Hog (our beloved SUV) and shlepped over to Berkeley, to check out the progress (or lack thereof) on our rental.  (More about The Great Project in another post.)  

Our son (DS), who has been sent off to live at the house, was absent, having taken off for Nevada for some reason with someone.  The place was -- remarkably -- not hideously dirty or messy (well, not more messy than usual), and DS had actually done some of the work DH had asked him to do!  

I dropped DH off at the house so he could start his work on the never-ending project, and took myself down the hill to one of my very favorite fabric stores -- Stone Mountain Daughter -- to see if I could find that bolt of fabric I had eyed last weekend, but didn't buy.  (A flamboyant print featuring bright pink flamingos, startling green leaves and splashes of eye-burning blue; 100% cotton...)  I was lucky -- found it!  And there was just enough left on the bolt to have sufficient fabric for something or other.  I'm thinking it's just the thing to make a camp shirt for our vacation in Hawaii next March.  I'm sure that it'll be done by then.  Really.  DH has quite a collection of Hawaiian shirts, and I'm feeling that I need to have at least one myself, just to be able to show up in public with him.  (Let the record reflect that, for the past several trips to Hawaii, I have been wearing many of the same clothes I wore on a trip to Hawaii when DD -- who is now 21 -- was a babe in arms...  Time for mama to sew herself something new!)

After spending more than I had wanted at SMD, off to buy lunch for us (deli sandwiches from the local market), back to the house, munched away, then sat and played with my iPhone while DH worked in The Pit.  What, pray tell, is The Pit?  It is the excavated crawl space that will be beneath the (new) kitchen floor.  The house is on a hillside that is blessed with plentiful underground water springs.  Unfortunately, this results in soggy crawl spaces.  That, combined with wooden floor joists and a foundation that was disintegrating, resulted in a kitchen floor that was so damaged that I could put my finger through the flooring (which I did).  DH ripped out everything, redid the foundation, and decided we need a cement surface under the kitchen, to minimize the damp.  It's been a months-long project, but the vapor barrier is now down, and DH taped much of it in place today.  One more weekend session of taping, and I think we'll be ready for the pre-cement-pour inspection.  DS has been "camping out" at the house, without benefit of a kitchen (although he has a microwave and a hot plate -- geez!), and he will be very happy once the cement is in and cured, the floor joists are in, and we can put the underfloor down.  Then, my fun starts -- picking out cabinets and appliances!  The house is a 1920s Berkeley brown shingle, and is in a historic district, so we want to maintain the look and feel of the house in our re-do.  This is like playing dollhouse, but better.  (More to come on that.)

Then, back home (an hour drive).  One of my favorite radio shows, "Says You", was on, making the drive a pleasant one.  Now laying on the sofa, DH working on his monthly car club newsletter, and I'm rambling on this post.  I really need to get with the program here.  And I will... soon... Really... Right after finishing up the crossword puzzle...

As I said, "rien"...

Following the Way

For years, I had the following tacked up on the wall over my desk, where I could see it when I lifted my eyes up from staring at my computer monitor:

"Following the Way"

Go where you are sent

Wait till you are shown what to do

Do it with the whole self

Remain till you have done what you were sent to do

Walk away with empty hands

I cannot recall where I picked up the piece of paper on which this is written, but this little bit of advice totally resonated with me every time I looked at it.  It was clear to me that I had been sent to The Company, and that I was shown what to do there by following the many paths my career took.  I certainly did it with my whole self (more than my whole self, according to DH).  And, over the past couple of years, it became obvious to me (well, sort of) that I had done what I was sent to do.  I had helped develop and refine many processes, had trained a lot of folks in how to think about and consummate deals, built wonderful relationships (business and personal), and made enough money to raise my family in comfort...  All tremendous blessings.  But I couldn't quite get with the "walking away with empty hands" part of it...

Recently (say, over the past 18 months or so), I talked often about what I might do next, after I was no longer working at The Company.  I toyed with various ideas, poked at them, floated them past friends and family -- tried them on, as it were.  

Then, the universe started sending me messages that it just might be time to pay a tad more attention to this little saying.  (No, I swear I'm not getting all woo-woo on you...)  Emails started hitting my inbox, touting various guidebooks on "what to do if you no longer are practicing law" or "life after lawyering" or "alternate careers for lawyers"... Really, I swear this was going on...  It was eerie...  Then, about a year ago, a series of seemingly unconnected events, some of which I had no idea about, started to occur, that led, eventually, to me sitting here, in my family room, on a Saturday afternoon, on a beautiful Summer day, no longer employed, contemplating life and (duh...) life after!  [More about all those events in another post... at some point...]

That series of events got me to thinking...  It seems to me that the path one walks during this life always seems to look a lot clearer when one turns around and sees where one has been.  Or at least it's always seemed that way to me.  I look back on my entire life to date and it all seems absolutely perfect in its logic and rhythm... However, while I was walking that path, it was missing paving stones, took odd turns to the right and the left, went through streams and rivers (and, sometimes, torrents), got covered by snow and falling leaves, and generally hopscotched about.  Looking back, it's gently curving and glowing golden stones in the early morning sun.  Go figure.

So, that little saying has come to pass.  Empty hands?  Pretty much.  Full heart?  Most definitely.  I don't think I could have done much more, or much better.  I was true to my principles, worked hard, was honest, gave and got, and left my office (and my files) in good shape.  It was hard to leave my friends (only because I won't be seeing them on a daily basis), but it was/is OK...  I am managing to keep myself occupied (okay, it's three days into it, for the love of pete, of COURSE I can keep myself occupied)...  Secretly, I am perhaps a tad giddy with the plethora of alternatives and choices I can see before me...  Time to read, time to sew, time to think, time to read the 50 or so sewing blogs I have bookmarked on my laptop!  (Seriously...)  Travel?  Maybe.  Get a dog (again)?  Possibly.  Renovate the kitchen?  Oh, yeah...

Now, I just need to keep my mind open to the next set of directions that the universe might send my way...  Ought to be fascinating...

Cheers!

Today's Meditation...

OK, so what I meant yesterday by being talked into something, was starting this blog.  In the old days, one would have kept a journal.  These days, we have blogs.  Thank goodness.  My hands simply won't "do" more than about an hour of handwriting any more.  Luckily, I seem to have learned how to type in a way that doesn't lead to horrible hand issues (knock wood!).  (Anyway, my therapist said I ought to journal, to deal with this life transition, so I guess this is as close as I'm going to get to journaling...)

Today's meditation is on the meaning of work -- or, to be more precise, our jobs -- in today's society, and particularly here in the Silicon Valley.  Often, we are (or are perceived to be) what we do...  When we no longer do what we did, who are we?  For those of us who grew/morphed into workaholics (and in denial, at that), what we did became a large part -- all? -- of who we thought we were.  

I do remember, vaguely, a time in my past when I was just me, a whole person.  Not me, a student; or me, a salesgirl at a snazzy NYC department store; or me, the wild child in Greenwich Village; or me, the star student...  Just, me...  But, over time, I became me = the high-powered in-house lawyer at "X" company.  Maybe it was the cachet of working at a company which has changed the world (well, OK, maybe not changed the world, but we sure thought we did -- or that we have)...  (To be perfectly honest, on those rare times I ventured out of the Valley, I did occasionally find people who could care less about computers or *pods or *phones, and they seemed to be perfectly happy and fulfilled...)  It was (almost?) addictive...  I became darn good at what I did, and I enjoyed it.  I spent hours and hours at the office, thriving on the drama, the fast pace, the thrill of firing on all cylinders, being in "the zone"...

Occasionally, there was a niggling sense of doubt...  Could it be that, perhaps, I was becoming a teensy weensy narrow in my vision?  Hmmm...  Out, out, doubt!!!  Was I, perhaps, just perhaps, spending a bit too much time in the throes of the adrenaline-charged atmosphere that pervaded the company?  Heck, no!  I made it home every night (when I wasn't in Europe or Asia or goodness-only-knows-where), and I made it to the kids' school events...  But, I pushed those wisps of un-ease down, and plowed on.

So, now that I am no longer working at "X" Company, who am I?  Was my identity so totally enmeshed with being AT the company, that I no longer exist (in some existential way) now that I'm not employed there?  That, my friends, is a way scary thought.  I think that's probably the first thing I need to wrestle with...  (Deep feelings of insecurity, i.e. -- do people want me to do whatever simply because I was employed by the company? or did/do they want me for myself?)  Aaaaccckkk... You would think I was still 16 years old...

Anyway, now, I get to sit, quietly, and just be.  And think.  And contemplate.  I'm blessed in that, financially, I don't need to immediately run out and find another job.  I have the gift of time...  I can deal with the cosmic question: Who am I?  Can I look myself in the eye every night and say, hey, you did good today?  Well, perhaps...  I am going to practice being mindful, of being in the moment, and just be.  Not run and write a memo, clean up an agreement, give advice, dispense wisdom, talk an anxious client off the ledge... Just, be...  My lovely and serene esthetician, the zen goddess herself, would be proud of me...  

We'll see if my "monkey mind" kicks in...  Oops, there it is!  

More to come...