Saturday, August 2, 2008

Following the Way

For years, I had the following tacked up on the wall over my desk, where I could see it when I lifted my eyes up from staring at my computer monitor:

"Following the Way"

Go where you are sent
Wait till you are shown what to do
Do it with the whole self
Remain till you have done what you were sent to do
Walk away with empty hands

I cannot recall where I picked up the piece of paper on which this is written, but this little bit of advice totally resonated with me every time I looked at it.  It was clear to me that I had been sent to The Company, and that I was shown what to do there by following the many paths my career took.  I certainly did it with my whole self (more than my whole self, according to DH).  And, over the past couple of years, it became obvious to me (well, sort of) that I had done what I was sent to do.  I had helped develop and refine many processes, had trained a lot of folks in how to think about and consummate deals, built wonderful relationships (business and personal), and made enough money to raise my family in comfort...  All tremendous blessings.  But I couldn't quite get with the "walking away with empty hands" part of it...

Recently (say, over the past 18 months or so), I talked often about what I might do next, after I was no longer working at The Company.  I toyed with various ideas, poked at them, floated them past friends and family -- tried them on, as it were.  

Then, the universe started sending me messages that it just might be time to pay a tad more attention to this little saying.  (No, I swear I'm not getting all woo-woo on you...)  Emails started hitting my inbox, touting various guidebooks on "what to do if you no longer are practicing law" or "life after lawyering" or "alternate careers for lawyers"... Really, I swear this was going on...  It was eerie...  Then, about a year ago, a series of seemingly unconnected events, some of which I had no idea about, started to occur, that led, eventually, to me sitting here, in my family room, on a Saturday afternoon, on a beautiful Summer day, no longer employed, contemplating life and (duh...) life after!  [More about all those events in another post... at some point...]

That series of events got me to thinking...  It seems to me that the path one walks during this life always seems to look a lot clearer when one turns around and sees where one has been.  Or at least it's always seemed that way to me.  I look back on my entire life to date and it all seems absolutely perfect in its logic and rhythm... However, while I was walking that path, it was missing paving stones, took odd turns to the right and the left, went through streams and rivers (and, sometimes, torrents), got covered by snow and falling leaves, and generally hopscotched about.  Looking back, it's gently curving and glowing golden stones in the early morning sun.  Go figure.

So, that little saying has come to pass.  Empty hands?  Pretty much.  Full heart?  Most definitely.  I don't think I could have done much more, or much better.  I was true to my principles, worked hard, was honest, gave and got, and left my office (and my files) in good shape.  It was hard to leave my friends (only because I won't be seeing them on a daily basis), but it was/is OK...  I am managing to keep myself occupied (okay, it's three days into it, for the love of pete, of COURSE I can keep myself occupied)...  Secretly, I am perhaps a tad giddy with the plethora of alternatives and choices I can see before me...  Time to read, time to sew, time to think, time to read the 50 or so sewing blogs I have bookmarked on my laptop!  (Seriously...)  Travel?  Maybe.  Get a dog (again)?  Possibly.  Renovate the kitchen?  Oh, yeah...

Now, I just need to keep my mind open to the next set of directions that the universe might send my way...  Ought to be fascinating...

Cheers!


2 comments:

Bubbler said...

I'm sorry, E - but I have to take issue with your comment that the path you take is easier to see when you look at where you have been.

I believe that you see the road ahead by looking through the windshield, not by looking in the rearview mirror; which is to say that you find your path ahead by concentrating on what you want to accomplish.

It is not done by examining what you have already accomplished - even someone who has accomplished as much as you have.

You still have great energy, You still have great knowledge, You still have great friends, You have great resources. You don't need to solve the puzzle of the rest of your life - you just need to decide what to do today.

Peace!

geewhiz said...

Hey Susie,
Your friends are saying -- who's Susie? Never mind. Big congratulations. I wish all good things to you. I know that you have worked super hard over the years and deserve the rewards that you already have and many more to come. I've never done any blogging stuff before either and will definitely follow yours with great interest. I hope that it will help me to know you better, and hopefully get closer. Hey, we've each only got 1 sister. Wait. That's us! Be well.